God will give you more than you can handle: I guarantee it.

There’s a certain phrase I’ve come to really dislike.

All my life, I’ve heard this phrase whenever I go through a rough patch. *And by rough patch, I mean a prickly, gnarly patch that leaves me bleeding to near death*. You’re probably familiar with those kinds of “patches”.

“God will never give you more than you can handle” is the phrase I’m referring to.

more than to bear

And it’s a sweet sentiment, really. The people who say it are speaking from caring and concerned hearts.

BUT–it isn’t true.

I know that sounds harsh, but I promise I haven’t suddenly lost my mind or have become an angry-with-God bitter woman who hates the world. Actually, when I realized the simple fact that God can–and will–give us more than we can possibly bear, it got easier.

And it all started to make more sense.

I’ve often trudged through trials that overwhelm me. Ever since my childhood there have been trials that have made me “grow up” pretty fast. But granted, I know for a fact you’ve had your own fair share too, because that’s the reality of life. But this last trial is the one that shook me to my core and had me searching like a mad woman for answers as to why it was happening–and how I could possibly even survive it.


I lost my Dad to cancer last month–if you’re a follower of mine, this is old news. But–it was absolutely horrific.

Every day leading up to his death was like walking through every level of hell–slowly– for lack of a better term. There’s no other way to describe it. The images…the sounds…the sleepless nights…the cries for God while we look on, helpless…the torment of rubbing morphine in his cheeks, praying it’ll absorb–but to no avail. The horrible, wrenching pain that came with lifting him up, laying him back down, lifting him up, laying him back down…because he became so restless and cried out for “home” every few minutes. And all along, in the back of my mind, I reminded myself that millions of people go through this, and have already gone through this, very thing. And it is simply unbearable. If you disagree–it’s because you haven’t been there.


This trial was so consuming that I hate to even put it in the past tense–sometimes it still consumes me. Yesterday, at my Dad’s memorial service, it consumed me all over again.

I’ve suffered from nightmares where I relived the memory over and over mercilessly–I sometimes see his face on strangers that pass and worry that I’m going crazy. I cry over sad songs in the car and torture myself with stacks of pictures and yellowed photo albums. It’s beyond just missing him. And even with a firm testimony of the gospel and with peace that he is exactly where the Lord prepared him for, it is still too much for me to handle at times. It steals my breath–and it can steal my joy.


So, the other day, I turned to the scriptures. I needed help.

I wanted to know where that phrase was that people kept repeating to me in church and at work and over the phone. Why did the Lord “trust me so much”?! Why did He think I could handle these kinds of trials?

And then I realized: I couldn’t find that quote because it isn’t there.

It never mentions anywhere in the scriptures that the Lord won’t give you more than you can handle. Yes, in 1 Corinthians 10:13 it speaks of Him giving us an escape from temptations so that it’s not too much to bear. But when it comes to pain, trials, heartache, and burdens– not once does it say it won’t be more than we can bear. Instead, it beautifully says this instead:

“Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn of me…for my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” (Matt. 11: 28-30)

carrying man

The words struck my heart, as you can imagine. Christ is speaking to those of us who are carrying burdens much too heavy for our own shoulders. And in that one verse he simply states the reason why we are given more than we can handle: It’s so we can come to him. It’s so we can trust him enough to hand over our heavy, crippling burdens and let him carry the load.

You might be heavy laden right now like I was before reading and re-reading and re-reading once again this scripture that has never stuck out to me as much as it has lately.


You might be shrunken with sadness or drowning in debt. You might be overwhelmingly angry at someone at church or aching under the pressures of raising children or maybe the inability to have them. You might be dealing with a terminal disease and you still have young children. And chances are–you might need your Redeemer to find you on the path and take up that heavy cross you’re dragging. Besides, even he tells us that he’s more equipped to carry it, so why not hand it over?

I’ve come to learn–slowly but surely–why I need Him.

I suppose it’s because of pride that I always thought I could just do things on my own. I’m strong, I’d say. I’m a tough cookie. I can help others through their tribulations while carrying mine all by myself. Well…wasn’t I wrong.

at jesus feet

I didn’t really know what needing him meant until I had no other choice. I didn’t know what it meant until I wrapped my arms around my middle so I wouldn’t fall apart–or the time I choked on tears and yelled toward Heaven. Or the times when I was utterly alone, and the silence was too much to bear. Those are the times that taught me he’s not just a want or a convenient symbol of love or a reason to do good deeds.

No, he’s the very air we breathe.

And he’s the only one who can make it bearable when life is simply anything but.

2,040 thoughts on “God will give you more than you can handle: I guarantee it.

  1. Well said. I have heard that phrase so many times and it somehow rang hollow each time. I came to the same conclusion as you through the scriptures and through careful observation as a 25+ year hospice RN. I have witnessed both spectrums of response to extreme trials and burdens as their loved ones declined, struggled, and died. I worked hard to help them with decisions about care and meds to control symptoms. I found the caregiver “success” at emerging from their dire struggles with their sanity and well being relatively intact hinged on them turning it over to God to carry. I have seen this struggle thousands of times. Thank you for posting your thoughts and sharing your experience so eloquently.

    1. He doesn’t give us any more than we can handle…when we come to the end s of our handle…he takes the handle and bears the load..we carry it until we come to the end of ourself effort and then call on him to take the lead. We have come to the end of what we can bear and then he bears…so it is really saying the same thing.

      1. No, it’s not! The scripture says He won’t TEMPT us more than we are able, but with the temptation He will make a way of escape

      2. No, it’s definitely NOT the same thing. Saying “God won’t give you more than you can handle,” really confuses people. Mostly because it is not true! I really feel strongly that we need to know our scripture well, and not vaguely, because it’s all we can stand on during hard times. At least, that has been true for me. Thanks for this article ❤

  2. Love it.
    Growing up I was taught,
    God never gives you more then you can handle with His help. He is very much needed in our lives all the time and knowing in the more difficult times He will help carry our crosses makes them bearable.
    This was a great message for at this time as my 15 yr old was just diagnosed with type 1 diabetes.
    Thanks for you candor sharing.

    1. Hi! I’m type 1 diabetic diagnosed when I was a sophomore in college (19 almost 20) I’m now 37 and have 2 precious healthy daughters and had great pregnancies 😉 I know it is hard now but she will figure it out and how her body works and each day she will learn something new to make living with diabetes easier! I’ve had a pump for 15 years and love it! It’s not always easy and you live and eat day to day! And I can’t imagine as a parent how hard it would be if my 12 yr old or 7 year old was diagnosed! I was already pretty independent in college so I had to learn it all fast and on my own! The Lord definitely protected me during that time!! Now looking back I’m not sure how I did what I did! Thank you Jesus!

  3. I read this last year and shared it because I believed it on the surface. My 32 y/o son lost his battle with addiction and died this last July … now I am living the agony of pain & loss…fears have crept in that we’re never there before. I feel vulnerable, not the tower of strength I have always been for everyone. Your words, your experience minister to me in a deep way, pointing to the Truth that even we believers desperately need. I hope this year you are coping better.

  4. Disagree. Then why are there suicides??? all the suicdes from teens being bullied beyond their capacity to handle ? Suicide from brutal physical abuse. Yes he does give us more than can be handled period otherwise there wouldn’t be such great hopelessness these people feel He would how up and save them and He doesn’t!!

    1. I have been through completely different experiences than the author, but with the same result. There are many scriptures about asking, seeking, and knocking. The Lord is always willing to intervene on our behalf but because we ‘are agents unto [our]selves’, He waits for us to do the asking and seeking before He takes over. Even the scripture in Matthew that is quoted says that we first have to ‘come unto’ Him before we receive the rest we want. His rest is given according to His wisdom, we are not usually just rescued so that we can avoid everything that is hard enough to actually change, or learn anything. One of my children had significant medical issues as a baby, that required very unpleasant and painful treatment that she (and i) really really hated. But i continued to do those treatments twice a day for more than a year because i wanted her to eventually benefit by becoming able to function normally. It was absolutely awful, but it worked, and she now benefits from those desperately painful treatments i inflicted on her when she was just a tiny baby and had no understanding at all of what i was doing to her or why. This life is not all there is. Sometimes it takes years –decades –for us to understand some things, but in the end, if we ask, seek, and knock (which implies humility) we will realize that all things are for our benefit … Just like the experience i had with my daughter.

      1. Not always. It’s not always your choices. I had a very abusive, alcoholic mother and an absent father. I was sexually abused many times when I was younger. How was that my choice? You have led a charmed life. I do know the Lord is there with that pain. He is always there. But it’s an insult to most to say it’s just because of your life choices. And often those who have made bad choices, like my mom, was because she was abused repeatedly. I love her and forgive her. She died at 49. But I wouldn’t be quick to judge.

    2. Are you serious? You evidently did not READ the entire post. And if you did, you completely ignored the reason, so you could comfort your selfish soul. If you or the other ones that you mentioned would turn your troubles over to God, then He would take care of them. But, that means humbling yourself to God. And not holding on to self pride and doubt.

    3. Suicides come from disbelief, mental and emotional weakness. I have seen sucidial people who actually believe that there isn’t anyone in their lives who loves them when in fact there are numerous people who do.

    4. I believe that I first have to trust in Him & believe in Him. If I don’t, then I am carrying the load, alone. I am reminded of the “Footprints in the Sand”. When the load gets the heaviest is when he carries you, if you were walking side by side, before the load got to heavy.

    5. I have had the same thoughts but I have come to the realization that He will not give us more than we can endure with his help. We have to reach out to him or we are on our own and that is huge!

    6. The answer is that not everyone knows that God will carry our burdens and make all right for believers. Suicide is a result of trying to bear our own burdens and failing that having no God to turn to. Unbelief leads to despair.

  5. Beautiful. I found myself crying all of the time about my stage 4 metastatic breast cancer, only age 37 at the time, just turned 38 with a 9 year old son and wonderful husband. It felt like too much to bear even though God told my mom that He had this. I finally felt peace when I handed it all over to Him.

  6. I agree somewhat… and my dad who is the epitome of health & has been his whole life, at 62 was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer. Never smoked, never even had a sip of alcohol & worked out and lived for the Lord throughout his life. The only part I disagree with in this is that no way did “God give him cancer.” Cancer is evil, cancer is from Satan. Cancer & disease is because we live in an evil & sinful world. Yes, God allowed it but He absolutely did not “give” it.

    1. and… so sorry I didn’t say this sooner; it breaks my heart to hear what you & your family went through. Truely, I am so sorry:(.

    2. I totally agree with you. God does not give us bad things. Yes, he allows them to happen, but he did not “give it.”

  7. This is SO true. I just relived my own Dad’s cancer nightmare while reading this. Jesus got me through it. There was one verse that helped me more than any other…. ,”Jesus wept”. When I read that through my tears I remembered that he had also felt the pain of death, just as I was feeling. He felt the heartache so much that He wept, even though He knew He was going to raise Lazarus again. That made me realize that the God I serve loves me and cares about what is happening to me so much that He came here to feel my pain AND the pain of His own Father’s wrath, for my sake. He got me through it, but it WAS more than I could bear! He got me through it.

    1. Ellen, I hope this helps. I once told a friend I was in the station but not on the train, yet. I spent 18 years being mad at God and taking the whole burdens on by myself. My friend said to me “Why do you want to carry that load all by yourself?” His point was that I ask for help from my husband raising my kids, I ask committee members to help with events, I ask my kids to pick up after themselves and make their lunches, and I ask my friends for advice with things. Why don’t I ask God to help with the heaviest things in my life? That sat with me for three days. It was with me while I drove home that night. It was with me while I made dinner and put my kids to bed. It stayed with me while I dropped them at school, went grocery shopping and did the laundry. For three days this comment wouldn’t leave me. See, I believed in God and listened to what He wanted from me. I prayed, went to and served on retreats. I served in the Christian Education committee and ran a teen drama group in church. I helped run Vacation Bible School and taught Sunday School. I even sang on the Praise team. I did not accept Jesus as my Savior until three days after my friend’s comment. I had thought I could do it on my own. But when my friend said what he said, it dawned on me that someone chose to die long ago so the sins I comit today are already forgiven. Once I accepted that I was a part of that gift of sacrifice, I was on the train, again. And the hand that pulled me on the train was Jesus. I feel lighter knowing I don’t have to do it all alone. My skepticism and doubt was a part of me. It had been for 18 years. My whole perspective on life changed. I hope this helps you realize that the train is not so scary once you get on. Once you get on, you have more support than you could ever imagine. May you find the peace you are looking for.

  8. My wife passed away December 4th after an 8 month battle with pancreatic cancer. Her story sounds sort of like your story with your dad. We would have been married 16 years this year. I have known her since childhood for 37 years and she has always been one of the most special people in my life.

    I agree with what you wrote. I am struggling to understand how God is going to ease my pain. I have a strong faith. I believe somehow He can. Maybe it hasn’t been long enough. I am missing this physical part of me that isn’t there any more. Thus, I struggle how He is going to fill that void. My heart feels like someone ripped a hole in it.

    This hurts more than anything I could ever imaging and it makes me wonder how I’m really supposed to get through it. She was young at 47. We still have our whole life ahead of us.

    How did He fill that void?

    By the way, I lost my mom suddenly on November 9, 2015 and thought that was hard…doesn’t even touch this…


    1. Eric..I know how you feel. I have felt those same feelings. I lost my husband of 32 years,,Jan 10. 2014. Tomorrow is the 3 year anniversary that he’s been gone. It still hurts, but with time it does get bearable. With time, and leaning on God. Pray daily. Take care, Connie.

    2. I felt that way after our daughter was killed. I learned a llot about letting go. Let go of expectations, keep asking for specific blessings, consider grief like work; In my darkest of days, after crying and crying so much that I wanted to sink into the floor and disappear because the pain of separation from our daughter was too much. I felt so alone! Suddenly, I felt the presence of someone else in the room with mem while at the same moment, I felt a wet drop of water fall onto my forehead. I stopped screaming and crying. I was not alone. I felt there were others crying with me. Was it an angel or the Savior? I know my prayers were heard. Someone cried with me, for me and I value that moment when heaven and earth met.

    3. I, too, have felt that pain. On March 27, 2013 my beautiful 53 y/o wife simply collapsed and died with a massive coronary. No symptoms or signs of any problem. She was here one minute and gone the next. We had just moved into a new home three days earlier and now she was gone. After 27 years of marriage, we were still falling in love. I felt like someone had torn the major part of my heart away and what was left was a jagged, throbbing wound, that if it ever healed, would take years to do so.

      I spent a lot of those first several months just wandering around in a fog. I wanted so badly just to talk to someone, but every time I tried I would just begin to weep. I remember those days when I would just collapse into a heap on the floor and cry out to God. I told Him that this wasn’t fair and that I wasn’t ok with His decision. Why couldn’t he have picked on someone else? But I remember so many times in those moments of complete brokenness, I could feel the loving arms of the precious Holy Spirit envelope me and hold me until I could rise up from the floor and go on.

      It will get better. Eventually the sting will not be as sharp. Lean on your friends. Your true friends really do want to help, their just not sure how to. Even if all you do is cry, reach out to them and let them help.

      Maybe not now, but in the months to come, give yourself permission to laugh again. I remember at first feeling so guilty, that I wouldn’t let myself ever enjoy life at all. I felt as if I was being disrespectful to her memory. But I soon realized (God revealed it to me) that my wife was more alive now than she ever was before and she was laughing and enjoying her new life and she wanted me to laugh as well.

      The first year was the most difficult, then after a year it seemed as if I started making some headway against grief (transitioned from a 1-step forward, 2-step back to a 2-step forward, 1-step back process). I can promise you that God is faithful and He longs to carry you until you’re strong enough to walk on your own again. I will pray for you, my friend.

      1. Are you still alone? I’m not sure how I feel about being alone the rest of my life. Yet, I can’t imagine someone else filling that void. You can’t replace what I had before.

    4. Grief is a process. It’s a necessary part of life. It teaches trust and dependence on God like nothing else. It places you in a “comfort cucoon” in the Lord. And the best thing about it is….it eventually ends. Life goes on….. Love goes on……God bless you while you grieve and wait and find a “new normal”.

    5. Eric,
      I’m so sorry for your loss. My husband lossed his first wife to breast cancer, almost nine years ago. They had three children together who were 7, 10 and 11 when she passed away. Like you, he couldn’t imagine how God would ease the pain and heal his broken heart.

      I think you are right about not being able to fill that void. Your wife is simply not replaceable! However, the capacity of the human heart to love is infinite! When I started dating my husband, I asked him if he thought he had enough room in his heart for me. He used an analogy of his first born daughter being born. He told me that when she was born he thought his heart had reached capacity….he loved this new little girl so much that he didn’t think there was anyway he could ever love another human being. 12 months later, when his wife announced she was pregnant again, he began to worry that he could love another child, like he loved his daughter……and then he was born…..a son….and my husband was surprised at the intense, incredible love that made way into his heart……and then two years later…..another child….and boom! The love was there! He said, YES…I have enough room!

      I will never take the place of his first wife. He will always love her. I would never want him not to love her. His love and loyalty to her is part of what mad him the kind of man that I needed. (Most women don’t have evidence of a man’s ability and capacity to love……I did! We’ve been married eight years and welcomed two new daughters in to our family. My husband NEVER could have imagined his life as it is now. And I couldn’t have imagined my life now, ten years ago.

      God has a plan for our lives. He knows us and loves us and will lead us along this plan as we trust him. YOU have so much life to live and so much more happiness ahead of you.

      I’m so sorry for your heartache. I will be praying for you! Wishing you all the best! —Amy

      1. Thank you Amy. It is truly a blessing to hear your story being the woman after the loss of his wife. I know I still have a lot of love to give. I know God is bigger than anything I can imagine. I know I don’t want to be alone. I tend to overthink things and I’m not really even sure why it comes to mind now being so close to when she passed away. I guess I’ve never really been one that liked to have to trudge through all the mud before coming out clean on the other end of a blessing.

        Thank you for sharing. It does give me hope. It doesn’t really ease the pain of losing her, but it brings more hope to the future. I heed your prayers.

        Blessings to you and your husband.


  9. I have an entire journal entry about this very topic that I wrote in the midst of something that I couldn’t believe I could handle. And my scripture search came up with the same answer… We can bear all things only through Christ and giving the burden to him. There is no such thing as bearing trials alone. What an arrogant thought! Our trials are but a catalyst to make us rely on the Savior. I am truly sorry for your sorrow and loss but I am confident that your growth will over time far outweigh the loss. You will come to be grateful for your time with the Savior. God bless you.

  10. Beautifully said.
    Growing up in the LDS church I have heard that saying many times. I have also understood that it is with the Lord’s help that we can overcome anything we are challenged with. I have always believed that a pie chart exists somewhere with colored sections dividing OUR part from the LORD’S part. As long as we do our part, inadequate as it may be, the Lord will make up the gap between our pie slice and the complete circle.
    But what happens when we can’t do OUR part? What happens when we lose hope because our best is not even close to the amount indicated by the colorful chart that shows what part we are responsible for? All things are possible with God, but if we bring virtually nothing to the table we certainly cannot expect Him to make up the entire difference. That’s what I believed. Things were in fact impossible because i couldn’t do MY part. I was wrong. There will be times in our lives, perhaps of substantial length, where all Christ requires of us is to be humble enough to let Him carry us. If things truly are more than we can bear, we need to ask Him to carry more of our load. Sometimes all of it. The pie chart doesn’t exists. We WILL be given more than we can bear because otherwise we won’t learn the humility required to lay on Him all our burdens and trust in Him as our savior. Pride is often the only barrier between torment and peace.

  11. Yes. Time doesn’t heal. Only the Atonement. Only the Atonement heals without a scar. Not over night, but healing does come when sought after. Rest and peace. His rest and peace defy description.

  12. Respectfully disagree with the author (and offer her my condolences on her father). The basic gist of it is: God is giving us more than we can handle, so that we can know beyond a shadow of a doubt that we can’t handle it all, and that only He can step in and deal with it….. as opposed to, say, simply sparing us the suffering in the first place.

    Completely get the idea of letting a person suffer and learn how to deal with things — for, this is precisely what parents do as their children grow up and leave the nest. They have to make their own mistakes in life, and learn from them accordingly, in order to grow up and mature and become independent. Yet, clearly God has no such desire for his children — and instead, seems to not only want us to remain forever dependent on him, but insists on rubbing our noses in it by throwing so much on our shoulders that we have no hope of ever handling it ourselves, and thus have nowhere else to turn BUT to him. Frankly, it all seems very power-trip-y and controlling.

    Mind you, this is not coming from some anti-religion atheist or anything – I was raised as a Protestant and still believe in a higher being or Creator…. and indeed, there is a lot of wonderful good to be found in the 66 books. That said, I do think one needs to take such things with a grain of salt….. for if a God wants nothing more than for us to suffer so hard that the only way for us to find relief is to let him step in and take the pain (the very pain he allowed to occur in the first place, mind you!) away… then I’m not so sure that’s the kind of God in which I really would want to believe. A bit akin to punching a person in the nose and then being the first to offer a washcloth and ibuprofen.

    Purely my pair of Lincolns, and not intended to try to sway anyone else here – promise. I’ll reiterate my condolences and empathetic thoughts to the author, as I too have lost a father in painful fashion. Life is a mystery…. some day, all of us will find the answers to the big questions that bewilder us in this life… and for which not a soul on earth has, or can ever have, the true answers. Continuing to ask and ponder such questions… and to continually seek answers despite knowing we can never truly know in this life…. is precisely what makes us human.

  13. There is no way to concisely answer this. Stories like this are truly sad, and make me want to weep, but I can’t help but to speak out, and say that God has nothing to do with suffering like this, and that it has nothing to do with 1 Cor 10:13, or its misinterpretation. If suffering like this was ever God’s will, whether He allowed it, or especially if He personally put it on someone, then there would be at least one example in the ministry of Jesus. When did He ever deny anyone of healing? When did He ever say that God has chosen for someone to suffer because it was His mysterious will? It’s not there! You can’t find it. The only time Jesus didn’t heal someone was because He COULD NOT, not because He would not, and it was because of the people’s unbelief, NOT because of God’s will. Our problem is that even though we may love God, we don’t understand God’s character, because we’ve singled out a few scriptures and ignored dozens of others. We read the first few chapters of Job and about Paul’s thorn, and ignore the whole ministry of Jesus. We read about the suffering of martyrs and put ourselves in that category, not understanding what they chose to endure for the Gospel’s sake, which had nothing to do with sickness and disease. We read about judgement in the Old Testament, and don’t understand the covenant that we live in now as believers. The Church is full of religious teaching like this, and we’ve all heard far too much of it, and sadly believed it, which has robbed us of our faith to get prayers answered. God IS in the prayer answering business, but the vast majority of Christians don’t understand how to ask, how to receive, how to build their faith, and what to do after praying the prayer, and they certainly don’t know how to use the authority given to them by the Lord Jesus Himself. It would take a long time to prove my point, so instead of doing that, I will post a link to one of the best teachings ever done on the subject of God and healing. You can’t watch even just the first video without admitting that this man has at least brought up some good points that none of us ever thought about. I truly hope it helps someone, because it will bring great joy and victory!

    1. Thanks, Keith M. I watched the video in its entirety. I’m a born-again Baptist. But one that was already a believer in God’s healing of my body’s problems. Mainly because I don’t go to doctors because I’m so shy about someone looking at my bode. So Hod knows He’s my go to doctor. I wanted to thank you for sharing this video. It’s not typically preached in Baptist churches so plainly. It was a blessing to hear this man preach. I’m not sure who he is; although I did hear…”Lord and Savior” when he spoke of salvation. But I’m thinking I’m going to glean the good and the parts that are Bible truths from…from even those that maybe messed up on some other topic. (I’m not a “turn it burner”) but I’m thinking, everybody may not be right on everything, but if they are right on something, then I can say, Thank you, Lord!
      He’s a wonderful Savior!

      1. I’m so glad you enjoyed it, and you’re very welcome! I know just how you feel about not being able to edit, but I’ve typed that by mistake too, and have seen it several times, so I knew just what you meant.

  14. This was an eye opener reading your blog. I actually can relate to it on various levels and now I guess i know my next steps from the outlook your blog gave me. I really needed it and it came to me at the perfect time I stumbled apoun it now I’m hooked I will stay tuned for up coming blogs on your website. Thank you once again and keep up the good work!

  15. Honestly, I’ve so been there !!! Tormented by the memories and sounds ugh… I felt like I had Tourette’s. I would just randomly yell and lose my mind in fear I would never be the same and maybe I should go to a hospital for help. Instead I ended up at my pastors door. He prayed the most mighty prayer over me and I could see Jesus when I put my hands out to lay my unbearable pain at his feet. After that the torment was gone. But I too lived for keeping my dad alive 14 plus years to be exact and his slow process of passing was the worst. He told me with tears in his eyes two weeks before he passed that Jesus came to see him and told him he’s coming home soon. Then he started crying even harder and said but he told me your not ready yet. Ohhh man once they started him on the meds to just be comfortable I as on my face begging the lord to take him. I am so sorry for your loss !! And please do seek help if you feel your being tormented. Torment is from the pit of hell. I never felt closer to God the year after my dads death I was blessed I so many ways because I was always asking for more. He is the father to the fatherless
    Even us big kids

  16. Thank you so much for sharing your testimony. I had these questions as well this morning and thumbing through my Facebook came upon your post. It has spoken volumes to me and reminded me that my God has been there for me and carried me through my burdens when I couldn’t no longer go on. May God bless you and continue to be your strength while you walk through this life. Thank you once again!!!

  17. Look I’m no longer a believer so take my comments in that light, but you say “Yes, in 1 Corinthians 10:13 it speaks of Him giving us an escape from temptations so that it’s not too much to bear. But when it comes to pain, trials, heartache, and burdens– not once does it say it won’t be more than we can bear.”

    That’s wrong. The verse actually says: There hath no temptation taken hold of you but such as is common to man. But God is faithful; He will not suffer you to be tempted beyond that which ye are able to bear, but with the temptation will also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.

    And check all the translations below. They say pretty much the same thing.

    I don’t really care either way as it’s all made up stuff, but your exegesis is way off…

  18. These last few weeks have been terrible in my family. My husband had pneumonia. His father is in full renal failure, How mother had Huntington’s disease. My mother has Alzheimer’s disease and my sister has stage 4 breast, liver and brain cancer.
    I have always been the rock in the family. Maintaining the outward appearance of strength while inside I am torn.
    My sister passed away last evening and I am at a loss. I’ve thought I was ready to hear that she was gone but I was oh so wrong. I am broken hearted. I can’t even tell my mother because she wouldn’t understand. When I called her husband to tell him that Lynne was gone he couldn’t talk long because mother was in the background having some sort of melt down about something completely unrelated and he was in tears. I wanted to go help him but I just couldn’t. I wasn’t strong enough.
    2 years ago I posted this article on my facebook page. I can’t tell you what was happening back then that made me need to read this but I can tell you that when it appeared on my facebook memory timeline it was meant to be read today

  19. And yet, you can see God was with you all the way. You made it. You are here to talk about it. Struggles can be overwhelming,. Phill 4:13. I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength. He doesn’tgive us more than we can handle. Our faith grows stronger in Him!

  20. There are a lot of verse said to come from the Bible at are simple not there or are simple quoted wrong or twisted. I feel your pain in your words, death is a life process, it is to reminremind us that we are not in control and there has to be a better place on the other side for not only us but for our loved one and our brothers and sisters in Christ. Only Tire comfort from Christ is derived from confusing ones sins a asking Christ to be our personal savior. It’s not a head knowledge event, it is a personal relationship with the raised savior, not a group hug. With this said every moment should be trying to reach others. We are all preachers of the word. He (Jesus) ask us to study to shed ourselves approved. And to go and spread the word of Jesus Christ our Lord
    God said you are to grieve and cry for the departed loved one for a time. You now will be more passionate to lead others to Christ. If you are born again a new creature in Christ Jesus then you are a bond servant to Him, to do His Bidding. HIS WORK, for His cause. He has made you stronger you the weaker at His is going to place in our life. You are still a free will agent, you could shut down and not offer any of the lessens Jesus has thought you, or you can help other’s with your life experiences and store up many treasure in heaven and here on earth helping others. God use us all differential. I believe the saying you refer to comes from people trying to give others in depression hope and peace and clearitie in the time of need. I don’t have all the answers but the Holy Ghost does. And He seems to type it out very well when I start typing. I love you and please trust the He loves you to our He would not untrusted you with this beatitful heart to share with the readers. May God continue to richly bless you and keep you, in Jesus name I pray. michael

  21. I too believed there was a scripture to support the comforting words that God would not give us more than we can bear. This testomoy is enlightening, helpful…..and…..comforting.

  22. Thank you so much for posting this! That saying has been my soap box for years! I recently came to that same scripture as well.

  23. I have heard this phrase many times and I say it and I have rephrased it. Nobody expects the painful things to happen to them. And you’re right until one has gone through that battle that God has placed into their life they don’t understand. I now phrase it just like the song says God will give you enough to make you bend but, He won’t let you break and the reason is because He knows you will turn to Him and have Him take away your pain, your stress, all of your burdens that you have are not yours to carry they are His. November 2008 I watched my Grandpa die of Parkinson’s Disease from the day he was diagnosed to the very last breath after he held my 3rd child whom was 2 months old. In 2009 was there when my Grandma died from what the Dr’s called a broken heart. And helping them both out day after day and night after night. Fortunately I wasn’t there to watch my mom and first child whom was 9 years old when they were killed by another driver who crossed the center line and hit them head on. So I am one who knows how hard it is and how hard it can get. However I never once asked God why. Because having the extremely strong relationship that I have with God I knew that it was all apart of His plan. And knowing I’ll see them again I accepted all of their passings very well. So it may seem that God will give us more than we can handle but, in my opinion with this message that you have written, it seems to me that you handled what was given to you. Even though it was hard as heck. Just like I and many others we have handled. 😊

  24. I cringe everytime I’ve been told that…whether in a bible or not, he is ultimately not responsible for our actions that come with consequences, being conditioned by environment and what each person within it contributed towards inner pain, conflict, etc….I’ve got a list that blows out of the water….I “get it”…..each of us has been “allowed” this limited existence….to show humanity what love is….pay attention people when “Gods” name is yelled out of anger…was it “his” fault your car didn’t start because “you” left your lights on?….or when you hear his name in praise, “Thank you Jesus!” as someone hits the powerball….I can guarantee “he” didn’t text the winning numbers over….at your highest peak of despair, pull out the strength within your soul – when you need it the most and fight – anything or anyone that is a crutch and of no benefit to your happiness, release….we are temporary as so are the items we possess or desire – even those who only brought you pain, never hold emotional debt unto them, an unconditional heart has room for everyone, without doors….have more faith in yourselves when life throws curve balls and you have no choice but to face them head on….smile back when a stranger gifts theirs to you and keep in mind, that you shared a brief moment with someone who is as amazing as you are to have been allowed this existence – you woke up today and saw the sun – take a moment to encompass how amazing it is – the wishes upon the stars you’ve tried to count in the celestial space of never ending existence, be grateful your eyes had the opportunity to see something so beautiful, that so many take for granted – someday, when your journey is to end in this life, going forth to another, you will be remembered for the way you smiled and how you made people feel – you are worthy and deserving of happiness – but it starts within yourselves first, even if you have only known pain and emptiness, know from me, that I will never see your smile, yet am thankful to share a small part of the world with you……yes, my cross of burdens and pain is unbelievable and I know why I’m here – God will reward us graciously with healed hearts and unempty souls when our last breath exhaled – for now, we continue on our paths….you matter. Be good to yourselves..

  25. I absolutely love this. My mom died of breast cancer last year and I took carenof her till the end. I have had suffered depression from the loss and had to figure out how to live without my mama. She lived with is for over 7yrs. She was a member of our household that was gone. It took me months to be able to go into her room. I couldnt even loom towards her room for months. I figured that if i didnt look that way or go down to her room it wouldnt be real. I never knew how much i needed God till that happened. I love this article. I hate that saying soo much.

  26. Wow….these words were in soul but I was afraid to share. Now I see I’m not alone. Thank you for sharing this to the world. God bless and comfort you.

  27. I agree with this post. However I do have a question. The scripture about Christ helping us carry a burden, a yoke, a load… I can’t seem to figure out HOW to GIVE him a part of the burden to carry. My trials are not a physically heavy object I can break part and hand over a piece for someone else to physically carry. My trials are of an emotional, mental, and spiritual nature. Someone please tell me how to “hand over” depression, suicidal thoughts, feelings of inadequacy, doubts, low self esteem, hopelessness, etc etc etc. I am a gay man living in a world where my religion tells me I’m a sinner if I do what my mind and body want, and the world tells me to leave the church and “be happy”, “be who you are, because God is Love. Why would God make you gay if he wants you to be happy? You’re not a sinner, go be gay, go have a boyfriend or partner or whatever. ” I deal with that every single day, and I don’t know HOW to give my burdens to Christ. I even wonder how he can understand people who deal with any kind of trial. Jesus is not a woman, how can he comprehend the pain of pregnancy, or the heartbreak of losing a child? Jesus is not black, how can he understand the racist bigotry that block people have dealt with for centuries, if not millennia? Jesus is not gay, how can he comprehend the heartache of a young man who wants so badly to marry in the temple, but he can’t because he likes other men? I try everyday to find answers to these and many more questions, but so far, I’m coming up empty. I’m glad my testimony of the church is strong enough that I know the answers do exist, and I’ll eventually get them, but I am unbelievably tired, physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually, of the wait. I am so tired of just holding on, waiting for the better days to arrive. I want them here now. I want to be finished with all the hard stuff and be free of the pain. When is it going to end? When do I get a break? When are people’s answers going to stop being empty platitudes and actually help? I just don’t know.

  28. Wow. I lost my mother to cancer a few years ago. I was working at the Cancer center at my first “real” job after graduating college. I was still training when my dad called with the news. It was the worst few years of my
    Life. But as I thought life would get a little easier by now, it has gotten even more challenging. Too hard to bear. Going through divorce, bankruptcy, custody battles, short on money, Late bills. You name it. And I just can’t seem to get past any of it because it’s all too much. And then at the end of horrible day, I just need my Mom. She is gone, and my husband too. This article is showing me who I have to go to now. Thank you.

  29. You have put into words what my heart has been screaming for the last two years. I lost my Dad 1.5 years ago after a short 7 month battle with a rare cancer. In that year and a half I’ve also had a miscarriage and, just two weeks ago at Christmas, lost two grandmas in two days. It’s been a season of loss to say the least and your words is what God has been reminding me the entire time. Thank you for this! I’ve never felt mad at God. I’ve always believed He has our best in mind and we have to just trust that. Thank you again. Continued prayers for you. Nothing can ever compare to a daddy-daughter relationship.

  30. You are deceiving people and you should repent. and the people that are agreeing with you need to repent. You say its a “phrase” It is NOT a phrase it is an actual Scripture from Gods Holy Word. Whether you realize it or not you just called God’s Holy Word a lie. 1 Corinthians 10:13 “There hath no temptation taken hold of you but such as is common to man. But God is faithful; He will not suffer you to be tempted beyond that which ye are able to bear, but with the temptation will also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it” People have to be careful that they do not spread a false doctrine and also that they do not receive false doctrine. For you to say “He certainly will give us more than we can bear” you are calling Him a liar. in Matthew 11:28-30 King James Version He say’s ” Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

    1. You seem to have forgotten there are 37 verses about judging others in the book you grip so tightly and quote passages from freely. This existence is made up of many voices – she decides how to communicate for herself – whether you like it or not – just as anyone else – think about it – you allowed one word of hers, “phrase”, decide for you to unleash in anger hundreds in return – was that also in your Bible? 37 judgement passages…..

      1. Leona is 100% correct. That IS what God’s Word states. Leona is not judging, she is stating a FACT.

  31. What a beautiful article. Amazingly the one part that stood out for me was the author seeing her Dad’s face in a stranger’s face. My Daddy passed from this world on Christmas 13 years ago. It was devastating for my siblings and me. We never had the chance to say our last I love yous or goodbyes. As the years passed, I noticed I would see Daddy’s face in other people’s faces. Something about them would strike a resemblance, and a sadness, and an excitement. Especially their eyes. The actor, Robin Williams, always made me think of my Daddy. It was his kind, but sad, eyes that drew me to him.
    Perhaps those times when you see your loved ones faces in a stranger’s face, is just a little gift from our Heavenly Father. Just a little something to remind you that they both are with you and love you, and like to give you comfort..

  32. Today I found this article and couldn’t believe there was another soul on this earth that thought this. I have been in a trial that has engulfed me. I have turned to friends who all say this very phrase. One day I looked one of them in the eye with tears and said maybe he hasn’t given more to you but he has truly given me more than I can bear. I also searched desperately for a scripture that said that. I asked everyone that quoted that to show me. Its not there. I have held on to a promise that God will never leave us nor forsake us. I do not feel alone but I do feel more than I can bear. I too had to learn to hand it over. I am not asked to bear it alone.

  33. You don’t know pain anguish or grief in til you have lost a child. God took part of my soul when he took our son. I have buried 2 parents and 2 in-laws and if I had them to give I’d give 20 more parents/in-laws or a 100, I’d give them up before losing a child. We will never be whole again.
    I physically feel like I have been drawn and quartered.

    1. You are SELFISH to give up lives of others that were never or will ever be yours to take in trade for one in return – you are in the deepest pain within your heart because you miss him unbearably, yet so lucky that you were allowed to love him – nothing can take that from you – your son knows of your pain, but he wants you to keep him in that place in your heart where he will always remain and keep loving others and find your smile again.
      (I’ve lost 3 children – and in the last 3 years, on the same day, same moment, my parents, brother and 2 sisters – I get it) — We’ve all felt sorrow – keep moving forward – you can do it

  34. I had shared this last year and it just came up as a FB memory. I don’t know if I read it through last time as I don’t remember most of it but I did today and I really needed it. I think the Lord drew me to your post to remind me of these beautiful truths. I have many burdens to bear but I have learned to trust Him to the point where if I fumble with something and don’t drop it (I have arthritic hands) I saw without hesitation, “Thank you, Lord, for helping me to catch that.” Just as I praise Him in the unbearable things. Oh, and I plan to reshare it!

  35. I have not read every comment here. But to me, whether it is in the scriptures or not, I know this. God will not condemn us and punish us for forever and ever if we humbly call upon Him and seek to do His will. Jesus will send His aid our way, eventually, and make a way for our escape — even if for some people that is in the next life, after they have been pushed to suicide because either they did sin in succumbing to temptation or because their mental illness no longer allowed them to understand reality.
    I am thankful Jesus has come to my aid repeatedly throughout my life extremely comforting me before I get near that point. It might not be that way for some people though, people who have clinical depression, etc.
    Also, I believe that we will never be tempted so much that there is no possible way we could avoid sin. However, we need to be merciful with ourselves and others, as God will be when we repent, because it seems to me sometimes that the temptations are created in a way that only Satan could do to tempt me in an extreme way, to push me as far as possible. And God sometimes does not stop that temptation so He can refine us.

  36. I so needed to hear this right now, I know it’s all so true, but I have lost sight of it.. I was the thing I clung to when my son was being treated for bone cancer at age 13, he is now 8 year cancer free and I have taken for granted all that God did for us, and I have lost sight of it, we are not going through growing pains with him and his new girlfriend, she is not always that kind to him and he doesn’t see it, and he is set on making a life with her, while the rest of the family sees it as not a healthy relationship. I now now that he needs to go through this to find his way, and that I just need to lay all my worries on God about this.. it’s so hard as a parent when you see your child being taken advantage of when you almost lost him, and you know that God didn’t leave him here on this earth to be treated so unkindly at times.. Thank you for reminding me to give it all to him and to bring it all to him when I feel I’m at a loss.. ❤

  37. Thank you for saying what I’ve tried to say to many hurting with me ! I only know this one thing: God loves me and He is good!

  38. Not even sure how I ended up on your blog tonight…..but I think you have so many great in things to share. I’ve had my fare share of trials in this life. There have been many in the last eight years that I simply didn’t know how I could bear them another day. I remember at the height of one of my trails, saying out loud the words…..”This IS more than I can bear! I’m not who you think I am! I surrender!” Looking back….I still don’t know exactly how I made it……but I did and I am still making it I believe with all my heart that God will not give us more than we can handle WITH HIS HELP! God knows who I am….he knows what I can handle….I’m slowly learning who I am and how much I can handle with HIS help. “I can do all things through weChrist who strengtheneth me.” Philippians 4:13.

    Love this talk of the Sustaining Power of Faith During Times of Trial and Tribulation.

  39. My experience was similar to yours, but I had no church or religion in my life, except for visiting different churches. Life for me was horrible, because I turned 18 the day my mother passed away from cancer. She was only 40 yrs old. The month before she passed, I found out that she was back in the hospital and it wasn’t good. I went into the bathroom and I cried, pleading with the only God I knew at that time, to please take her soon, if she wasn’t going to live or to make a miracle happen, if she was going to live. I told him how I couldn’t bear watching her 63 pound, cobalt scarred body suffer like this. 3 weeks later , she passed away. I was in shock..Just numb.. I went through each day, managing to get through my senior year of high school, coming home to do chores ( thank goodness she taught me well! ) , do homework, go to bed, get up and repeat. On Sundays, I would go to church with friends, not really getting the spiritual help I needed but just trying to do the best I could..to come closer to God. For 3 years, I went through that. Then one day, I asked a close family friend, if I could go with him and his family. He choked for a bit, then happily agreed. I met with missionaries, was baptized and it was then, that I learned more than I ever thought possible about the eternities.. My sadness was turned to joy. I knew my mom was okay and that I could be with her again, some day. Time went by… I married , had 5 children, bad things happened, and I grew from the experiences. Good things happened too.. and they still do. There isn’t a day that I don’t feel, in some small or huge way the love and goodness of my Father in Heaven.

    1. Oh, and yes i do agree with you about him giving us more than we can handle. I think when those times come, we need to ask for him to help us carry those burdens, because we cannot do it alone.

Leave a reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s