God will give you more than you can handle: I guarantee it.

There’s a certain phrase I’ve come to really dislike.

All my life, I’ve heard this phrase whenever I go through a rough patch. *And by rough patch, I mean a prickly, gnarly patch that leaves me bleeding to near death*. You’re probably familiar with those kinds of “patches”.

“God will never give you more than you can handle” is the phrase I’m referring to.

more than to bear

And it’s a sweet sentiment, really. The people who say it are speaking from caring and concerned hearts.

BUT–it isn’t true.

I know that sounds harsh, but I promise I haven’t suddenly lost my mind or have become an angry-with-God bitter woman who hates the world. Actually, when I realized the simple fact that God can–and will–give us more than we can possibly bear, it got easier.

And it all started to make more sense.

I’ve often trudged through trials that overwhelm me. Ever since my childhood there have been trials that have made me “grow up” pretty fast. But granted, I know for a fact you’ve had your own fair share too, because that’s the reality of life. But this last trial is the one that shook me to my core and had me searching like a mad woman for answers as to why it was happening–and how I could possibly even survive it.

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I lost my Dad to cancer last month–if you’re a follower of mine, this is old news. But–it was absolutely horrific.

Every day leading up to his death was like walking through every level of hell–slowly– for lack of a better term. There’s no other way to describe it. The images…the sounds…the sleepless nights…the cries for God while we look on, helpless…the torment of rubbing morphine in his cheeks, praying it’ll absorb–but to no avail. The horrible, wrenching pain that came with lifting him up, laying him back down, lifting him up, laying him back down…because he became so restless and cried out for “home” every few minutes. And all along, in the back of my mind, I reminded myself that millions of people go through this, and have already gone through this, very thing. And it is simply unbearable. If you disagree–it’s because you haven’t been there.

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This trial was so consuming that I hate to even put it in the past tense–sometimes it still consumes me. Yesterday, at my Dad’s memorial service, it consumed me all over again.

I’ve suffered from nightmares where I relived the memory over and over mercilessly–I sometimes see his face on strangers that pass and worry that I’m going crazy. I cry over sad songs in the car and torture myself with stacks of pictures and yellowed photo albums. It’s beyond just missing him. And even with a firm testimony of the gospel and with peace that he is exactly where the Lord prepared him for, it is still too much for me to handle at times. It steals my breath–and it can steal my joy.

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So, the other day, I turned to the scriptures. I needed help.

I wanted to know where that phrase was that people kept repeating to me in church and at work and over the phone. Why did the Lord “trust me so much”?! Why did He think I could handle these kinds of trials?

And then I realized: I couldn’t find that quote because it isn’t there.

It never mentions anywhere in the scriptures that the Lord won’t give you more than you can handle. Yes, in 1 Corinthians 10:13 it speaks of Him giving us an escape from temptations so that it’s not too much to bear. But when it comes to pain, trials, heartache, and burdens– not once does it say it won’t be more than we can bear. Instead, it beautifully says this instead:

“Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn of me…for my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” (Matt. 11: 28-30)

carrying man

The words struck my heart, as you can imagine. Christ is speaking to those of us who are carrying burdens much too heavy for our own shoulders. And in that one verse he simply states the reason why we are given more than we can handle: It’s so we can come to him. It’s so we can trust him enough to hand over our heavy, crippling burdens and let him carry the load.

You might be heavy laden right now like I was before reading and re-reading and re-reading once again this scripture that has never stuck out to me as much as it has lately.

trsut

You might be shrunken with sadness or drowning in debt. You might be overwhelmingly angry at someone at church or aching under the pressures of raising children or maybe the inability to have them. You might be dealing with a terminal disease and you still have young children. And chances are–you might need your Redeemer to find you on the path and take up that heavy cross you’re dragging. Besides, even he tells us that he’s more equipped to carry it, so why not hand it over?

I’ve come to learn–slowly but surely–why I need Him.

I suppose it’s because of pride that I always thought I could just do things on my own. I’m strong, I’d say. I’m a tough cookie. I can help others through their tribulations while carrying mine all by myself. Well…wasn’t I wrong.

at jesus feet

I didn’t really know what needing him meant until I had no other choice. I didn’t know what it meant until I wrapped my arms around my middle so I wouldn’t fall apart–or the time I choked on tears and yelled toward Heaven. Or the times when I was utterly alone, and the silence was too much to bear. Those are the times that taught me he’s not just a want or a convenient symbol of love or a reason to do good deeds.

No, he’s the very air we breathe.

And he’s the only one who can make it bearable when life is simply anything but.

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2,030 thoughts on “God will give you more than you can handle: I guarantee it.

  1. A very wise person once asked me, “If God would not put more on you than you can handle, why would you need Him?” Think about it.

  2. Amen. That is heartbreaking to hear about your father. I’m praying for you and your family.
    I’m going through a time of overwhelming anxiety attacks after hearing about a friend who went missing. That’s aside from the stress of a total right hip replacement at the age of 23. Life is overwhelming me. I need Him, so badly, my heart aches because of hopelessness. I can’t handle this on my own. He’s yet to take it from me, but I know He is faithful and good.

  3. Just curious why your dad couldn’t have been in a sutuation where he was in a drug induced coma if he was suffering that much? My mother also just passed away from cancer, and she was in a hospital with morpheme drip and was very peaceful. I’m so sorry for how m

  4. Pingback: God will give you more than you can handle: I guarantee it. - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

  5. It’s hard to know what to say at times like these.

    As a matter of fact, I was just talking to a friend from church a few days ago about how–sometimes–we have just wanted to reply, “Do you realize what you just said?????”.

    Although nothing will remove the grief you are experiencing right now, the comfort of the One we worship remains.

    Many times, one of the things said is, “It was for the best!” I have no idea where they get this from, unless it’s a terrible misquoting of Romans 8:28.

    In Romans 8 lies one of the most commonly quoted verses in the entire Bible…but in its context, it reveals something that we can hold onto in times like this.

    18 For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us. 19For the earnest expectation of the creation eagerly waits for the revealing of the sons of God. 20For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of Him who subjected it in HOPE; 21because the creation itself also will be delivered from the bondage of corruption into the glorious liberty of the children of God. 22For we know that the whole creation groans and labors with birth pangs together until now. 23Not only that, but we also who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, even we ourselves groan within ourselves, eagerly waiting for the adoption, the redemption of our body. 24For we were saved in this HOPE, but HOPE that is SEEN is not HOPE; for why does one still HOPE for what he SEES? 25But if we hope for what we do NOT see, we eagerly wait for it with perseverance.
    26Likewise the Spirit also helps in our weaknesses. For we do not know what we should pray for as we ought, but the Spirit Himself makes intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered. 27Now He who searches the hearts knows what the mind of the Spirit is, because He makes intercession for the saints according to the will of God.
    28And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose. 29For whom He foreknew, He also predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son, that He might be the firstborn among many brethren. 30Moreover whom He predestined, these He also called; whom He called, these He also justified; and whom He justified, these He also glorified.

    Scripture does not say “Everything that happens in the life of a Christian is ‘for the best'”. Instead, it says to let hope carry you, when it seems you can’t walk any further, because of grief. The grief may, indeed, seem endless…but one day, the grief will end, and we will be with the Source of all comfort.

    In a grief seminar shortly after the death of my mother, a man I’d known for over ten years said two things I’ll always remember:

    #1 “Grieving is like peeling an onion…It comes off in layers…and you cry a lot.”
    Personally, I think grieving is more like digging a well. It’s not until you get to the bottom of what you are trying to retrieve that you truly know how deep it is…but once you’ve gotten there, you can look up and exclaim, “I just THOUGHT I knew how much I loved this person, but WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
    #2 People grieve at different “speeds”. One may seem rather aloof to the feelings of another, but may–in reality–have exhausted all the tears they can cry until nature replenishes them, and that person can cry some more.

    Living day-to-day not only grieving yourself, but caring for others in grief, who are almost constantly “on a different page” in the grieving process than you are, can be a very frustrating thing, indeed.

  6. Thank you for writing this. I lost my dad in June then 3 weeks to the day of his death I was diagnosed with stage IV colon cancer. I have felt so overwhelmed ever since and have thought “This is too much for me to handle, why is this happening?” I guess I need to lean more on the Lord to help me through what I feel is an overwhelming situation. Thank you for helping me see that I am not alone and that God is there to help me.

  7. I am very sorry about your dad! I can’t imagine!
    I have had some rough stuff in my life and have asked God if he had forgotten about me! Knowing he hadn’t. I am always tempted to try and figure things out THEN pray! Now, I am trying to pray FIRST.
    Blessings to you!

  8. Hit wrong button and posted that before I was done! So sorry for how much your dad suffered! In today’s medical world he shouldn’t have had to. God bless you!

  9. Thank you so much for writing this! I lost my Dad in August to lung cancer. The two weeks of hospice care was both such a blessing and like walking through Hell at the same time. It is so hard to understand why pain and suffering can go on for so many days. I do not have the absolute assurance that my Dad is with Jesus. I pray everyday that he did make that decision at the end. I have felt completely undone one other time in the recent past and I agree that these are the times we fall into Gods grace. Without those times we would still be trying to live life on our own. Thank you, again.

  10. Although we’ve always been taught to come to Him “on our knees” when we pray, during times like these, we can envision crawling up in His lap instead. He is that powerful–that massive–that loving!
    Romans 8 says that we don’t even need to have the words to express our anguish, because He really can “listen to our hearts”!

  11. Thank you for sharing this. It was something I really needed to read. My heart has been heavy and I’ve been weary since my Mom and Dad have passed. I’ve become angry with God, and I need to be able to lay that down and let him in to be my strength.I had always heard the same thing that God won’t give you more than you can bear, but I have learned the truth too. Thank you again for sharing this. It did my heart good to read it.

  12. I watched my son, age 33, go through much of the same with cancer. You put exactly into words my heart. I, too, got weary with people telling me this. I would repeat “I am not as strong as He thinks I am.” or “I never really wanted to be this strong.” My child….my child. It hurts so deeply.

  13. So beautiful put!! As a daughter of God, I have gone through more than my share of lifes trials that were more than I could bare, and many times I gave no acknowledgement to his mercy in my life. I have endured, sexual abuse as a child, the death of my first born son, divorce and cancer.. But just recently learned the same thing she did!! That we could have gotten threw it easier if we would have just TRUSTED him enough to have gone to him and laid the load that was too heavy to bare at his feet. He could have emotionally saved me from the hell I put my self through with drug addiction trying to save my sanity after my son died.. At a time when I needed peace, I searched out numbness instead. The world makes that easier to get..
    Now not a day goes by with out my life staying centered on my Redeemer. When I have a trial or a weakness that consumes me I now turn only to him to save me.. to carry me, to lift me, or to comfort me.. He is all I need!!! through him I can endure anything!! He is why my life is so BEAUTIFUL NOW!!

  14. My niece shared this with me on fb. I want to first give you my condolences and let you know that you are in my thoughts and prayers as you deal with this terrible loss.

    Your writing took me back about 20 years instantly! I lost my father. Not from cancer but what you describe was so similar. I could relate to everything you’re going through. Especially turning to God! I remember that feeling of a hole that you could never again fill…..and then I had my first child. It’s amazing how God blesses us and how those blessings can be part of how we heal.

    My favorite part from your post-TRUST! You are so right! You are getting it girl! Godly wisdom!!! It’s truly a gift itself and it begins to pour into your life more and more when you seek Him.

    Thank you for your post and I truly will be praying for you. I know the pain you are in. I can tell you that you are on the right path, I can tell you that it will get easier (in ways) and then there’ll be times when you feel it piercing all over again, but my experience has been that that intense, frequent, “I’m going to lose my mind” pain will lessen and will be replaced with wonderful feelings of blessings (such as I began to feel less loss and more of a “wow, what a blessing it was to HAVE a man like him as my dad, and what a blessing it was to be ABLE to take care of him when he was ill….” and then there will be those additional, life blessings that come along to replace the pain with joy (such as having children)……but with God…..you can find peace and joy again. Trust! 🙂

    I’ll share my blog too–in case you are interested.
    http://mommy321.blogspot.com/

  15. You’ve written my story…. almost…. your words are right on…. but there are times when I still feel alone in my pain… it’s been almost three years…. I thought I was a strong believer….. I’m not….. still waiting for Him to be the Redeemer, the Restorer….

  16. Kayla,
    Whoever you are, and where ever you maybe; I understand your heartache and why you might say God gives us trials we cannot handle. But, I stand to testify to you that God does not give us any trial or temptation greater than we can bear. The question is whether we realize we are able to bear it or not. Yes, the Lord did say we could turn to him for help, and that he would help bear our burden, and that he would make our burdens light if we need it; But “help” is all he meant by it. He offers his help so that we may never loose our way and never give up. He never says he will do it for us. He never says he will remove our trials. He never says bring our problems to him and he will resolve them. The Lord only offers guidance, counsel, love, and support.
    1 Cor 10:13 says, “God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able”, nor will he give you a trial you cannot handle. In Matt 5:48 Christ says, “Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect”. and in 3 Ne. 27:27 he says, “What matter of men ought ye to be? Even as I am”. Which means The Lord intends for us to become masters of the waters and of the earth. He intends for us to become masters of all things and be as he is, independent, wise, capable, and powerful. Christ never said he was better equipped to suffer our trials. In fact he said in John 14:12, “He that believeth on me, the works that I do shall he do also: and greater works than these shall he do”. Christ said we are capable of doing even greater things than he did; including suffering all things; But do we realize and understand that?
    Christ’s purpose is to set an example and help us to become like our Father in Heaven; and we cannot become like him if somebody else does it for us. The Lord offers eternal glory to those who walk with him, not to those who are carried by him. Matt 16:24 does not say Christ will carry our cross for us, it says, “If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me”. We are to carry our own cross. Unfortunately we often feel as though we are strong enough to do so; so we need Christ to assist us and allow us to lean on him, until we are strong enough to continue on our own again.

    Kayla, you may think I just don’t understand, and that I haven’t been were you have been; But I am where you are. I have suffered many trials in this life, including the loss of my grandfather and my aunt. And, three months ago, I dressed my big brother’s cold dead body and carried him to his grave, to lay him down next to his baby girl who passed away a year ago. Not a day goes by when I don’t miss my brother; and the image of his grey lifeless face continually tries to destroy my soul. My heart breaks continuously for his wife and baby boy. I often wonder why ,and my faith is endlessly tried. I frequently want to give up and throw the weight of my trials on the savior; but then I remember, he wants me to try to overcome this on my own. He wants me to seek answers and build my testimony, and then use it to help lift others. He wants me to become the master of my own soul and walk upright with him, side by side.
    I hope and pray that you will learn to do the same; and I hope that when our next trial comes we will have the faith and understanding to overcome it and be strengthened by it on our own. The Lord does not give us trials so we have to rely on him. He gives us trials so we remember him and why he put us here on earth; to become like him.

    • Danny I have to disagree where you say that God does not promise to resolve our problems. He has said He will fight for us… over and over.

      When the children of Israel were backed up against the Red Sea and Pharoah and his men were closing in, Exodus 14: 13 says: And Moses said unto the people, Fear ye not, stand still, and see the salvation of the Lord, which he will shew to you to day: for the Egyptians whom ye have seen to day, ye shall see them again no more for ever.

      14 The Lord SHALL FIGHT for you, and ye shall hold your peace.

      What did God do? vs 19 And the angel of God, which went before the camp of Israel, removed and went behind them; and the pillar of the cloud went from before their face, and stood behind them:

      20 And it came between the camp of the Egyptians and the camp of Israel; and it was a cloud and darkness to them, but it gave light by night to these: so that the one came not near the other all the night.

      The children of Israel just stood there…. and God handled the situation. All we have to do is hold our peace and be still. Let God handle our problems. Yes, we have a personal responsibility… and we can only do our part. Let God handle the rest.

      And again in Deut 20:4 For the Lord your God is he that goeth with you, to fight for you against your enemies, to save you.

      Again in 2 Chronicles 20: 15 And he said, Hearken ye, all Judah, and ye inhabitants of Jerusalem, and thou king Jehoshaphat, Thus saith the Lord unto you, Be not afraid nor dismayed by reason of this great multitude; FOR THE BATTLE IS NOT YOURS, BUT GOD’S.

      What were the people to do? Sing praises! 🙂

      vs 21 And when he had consulted with the people, he appointed singers unto the Lord, and that should praise the beauty of holiness, as they went out before the army, and to say, Praise the Lord; for his mercy endureth for ever.

      22 And when they began to sing and to praise, the Lord set ambushments against the children of Ammon, Moab, and mount Seir, which were come against Judah; and they were smitten.

      It is ok for us to enjoy our day and let God fight our battles. He wants the very best for us. Things are not always as they appear: Proverbs3:5 Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.

      6 In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.

      Praise His Holy Name!

    • Tyler,
      Just a few things to ponder: When someone makes the statement, “I understand your trial” is a huge mistake. Even if you had lost your father, we are all different, with different strength and weakness.
      Trials come from different sources such as, God, Satan, our own making, and of nature. Temptations only come from Satan. That which is evil, comes from the devil and only good, comes from God. I don’t know what type of trial Kayla is referring to, but because God does give trials, let’s just discuss trials and not temptations.
      Although, I don’t know of a scripture that reads, he will give us more than we can handle. I do feel like he does, with a purpose. You are right to say that he won’t take away our trials. He will give us the strength beyond that of the trial. When my first son was born, his delivery had serious complications that resulted in injures to my son’s brain. To make the story short, doctors told me, he would not make it through the night. After, a week in ICU, nurses insisted I terminate him because he would be a burden on society. When my son turned 7 years old, one day he got up and began to walk for the first time. He is becoming a teen and is just learning to speak. Soon after my first son was born, my second son passed away, due to heart problems. I can’t type all the pain, anguish, and despair my wife and daughters have gone through, so much that the cup was overfilled. Not only was I in pain, but as I starred at my family, there was nothing I could do for them. Just as gold is purified through high temperatures, so are the trials to our souls. I was brought down to my spiritual knees. As I drove home from the hospital childless and without my dear wife, I looked up at the cold and dark sky. The clouds started to open, and a beam of sunlight started to separated the clouds. My spirit felt the pain of my Heavenly Father, towards one of his earthly sons. I have gained a mi-nute understanding of the atonement. The love of the Father towards His Son. The Prophet Joseph Smith said that “the nearer man approaches perfection, the clearer are his views, and the greater his enjoyments, till he has overcome the evils of his life and lost every desire for sin; and like the ancients, arrives at that point of faith where he is wrapped in the power and glory of his Maker and is caught up to dwell with Him. But we consider that this is a station to which no man ever arrived in a moment.” May we welcome trials that we can’t handle, trials that shed off the natural man. May we embrace them, and allow the Holy Ghost to speak, feel, purify, embed, and engrave our spirits. -Johnny

  17. 1 Corinthians 10:13. If we see this verse, or any other verse in the Bible, as telling us that we have everything we need already inside us to handle every problem that comes along, we are misinterpreting the Word. However, if we see this verse as telling us that no matter what trials or temptations assault us in this life, if we turn to God in dependence upon Him, He will supply the strength, wisdom, and way to endure them, then we have a correct understanding of the promise from God. It would be more correct and understandable to a non-believer if you said God will never put on you more then you and he together can handle, making sure the person understands that when they can stand no longer they need to kneel and release the problems to God. As Christians we know this and sometimes just assume others do to, just look at the state of the world they sadly have no idea. It is our job to lovingly share with them our faith.

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  19. You’re right. 1 Corinthians 10:13 No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it. It is speaking of sin and that God offers you a way out of every temptation.

    James 1:2-4
    Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. 4 Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.
    Just one verse of several saying that he causes us to grow and mature with trials. That trials have a purpose.
    Of course it isn’t easy to watch your dad die. My dad was given 2 weeks to live on Thanksgiving Day and he is still here. Some good days and some very bad days and is on hospice. Nothing about this is pure joy. NOTHING. I didn’t expect to be torn apart. I live in OKC and my dad is in CA. I cannot go to him. Cannot help my mom who is beyond exhaustion. I can face time them and everyday is a shock to see him suffering. My mom is barely recognizable. My dad looks like a skeleton. Cry everyday and I don’t know is the tears will ever stop. I am well aware that this is all a part of life and that this goodbye is temporary. There is some comfort in that but not much. I know there is a yoke for two but I feel like I’m pulling and the other side is dragging in the mud. It is not because I’m lacking in faith or love for God. It’s just that hard.
    Sorry for your loss.

  20. I see most of these posts come from people who had a loved one who died of cancer. I cannot relate to this. My mother died of Kidney disease. It might as well have been the worst possible disease imaginable because she suffered and was in terrible pain and had to be given liquid morphine up until the moment of death. she died on Jan. 26, 2003 but if I talk about it, it happened this morning. I needed to read ur testimony and I really needed to know about the scriptures. I have been in terrible pain emotionally and many times it becomes physical for wanting her back and missing her so! Thank u for sharing, it couldn’t have been easy to write as I know u could see that day in ur mind as if it was today! to this, I can relate.

  21. Thank you for this post! I lost both of my parents to cancer in the past 5 years. Losing them and seeing them go through such pain was almost too much for me. We go Monday to a Neurologist to find the results of an MRI that my husband had yesteray. They believe he has MS. This post helped me to realize that yes, sometimes things happen that are too much to bear. I have to remember who is in charge of my life and ask him to handle the things I am not strong enough for. Thanks again for the post-

  22. Hi Kayla,
    I am sorry for your loss. I lost my Dad 1yr ago this Sunday the 12th of January. I have not followed you, but I saw your link posted by one of my FB friends and I decided to read it. It made a lot of sense to me, in that I too have told many people that same “shoulders” line.
    Thank you for the research you took the time to do. I don’t know about you, but I lost my Dad (for now), but I gained an awesome Guardian Angel. 🙂

    Peace be With You!

  23. I lost my mom to sarcoma last March tsar coma five months after I lost my best friend to breast cancer. I know exactly what you mean and I hate this phrase too because it was much more than I can handle. My heart goes out to you .

  24. I have been right where you are right now and I can honestly say it does get better. You will be able to breath again. You will be able to make it through a whole day without crying. You will begin to feel “normal” again. Although nothing is really normal when your dad isn’t part of it. I lost my dad last February from stage IV brain cancer. I can relate very closely to your sentence “Every day leading up to his death was like walking through every level of hell–slowly.” It is hard to explain to people the level of horror of watching the man you have loved the most and longest in your life fight such a horrible fight and there is nothing you can do about it but sit and hold their hand. I dreamed about it for months, I couldn’t get it out of my mind, it was all I could think about – obsess about. The best decision I made was to get a grief counselor. She helped me make my way through those dark dark months. Don’t get me wrong. I still cry, I still talk to him, I still miss him more than anything, but I’m not lost anymore. I hope someday you get to this same point in your grieving. Much comfort and peace to you. Thank you for writing such a beautiful blog post. ~Heather

  25. I am so sorry to hear about your dad. I can not even imagine what you went thru or the hurt and pain that you are going thru loosing a parent. I have always heard that phrase too and always believed it until I read this. It does make sense to me. God does give us more than we can bear to see if we will call upon him and his mercy and to go to him for rest. Thank you for writing this.

  26. My best friend just shared this link with me and I am so thankful she did. We just walked through this same journey with my Dad five months ago. THANK YOU for talking about that phrase. Thank you for the reminder of what all this pain is ultimately for. I’m starting to blog about this process as well, feel free to check it out 🙂

    Much love,
    Rachel

  27. Pingback: God will give you more than you can handle: I guarantee it. | Teenage Pastor

  28. There is NO amount of pain or suffering that we go through on this earth that is worse than the pain and suffering that JESUS went through for us. We as Christians go through HELL on earth because it is the ONLY HELL we will ever have. Once we are with our heavenly father in Heaven we will NEVER suffer again. These words were given to me when the love of my life was taken from me and I asked WHY GOD????? I try to remember this when things get too hard to handle and it helps.. God Bless you!

    • This is one of the reasons why I dislike Christianity.
      It tries to dwarf people’s real pain and suffering with the myth of ultimate anguish.
      Dismissing people’s pain (even if they pale in comparison to your own, let alone the worst you can think of) lacks empathy, which worsens shame, guilt, and depression. Fellow humans should help one another because we all go through pain eventually.

  29. My daughter shared your post on her Facebook page today. She and I face so many struggles each day and I’ve often questioned that phrase. We needed your post and He led us to it. Perfect Father with perfect timing. Thank you so much for sharing your heart. God bless.

  30. We often think that if we choose God our life will get easier. The opposite is true. It will get harder… much harder… just ask Joseph Smith. The reason, and the solution, are both addressed here. Excellent post!

  31. Wonderfully written post. I, too, have been in shoes like yours recently. I lost my 57 year old dad 7 months ago to the same horrible disease. We thank God each day that it was a fairly short course (5 months) and his quality of life was optimal. My heart hurts each day, some days worse than others. God doesn’t leave us, and we truly have to lean on him all the time. B

  32. Footprints in the Sand

    One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord.
    Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.
    In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand.
    Sometimes there were two sets of footprints,
    other times there were one set of footprints.

    This bothered me because I noticed
    that during the low periods of my life,
    when I was suffering from
    anguish, sorrow or defeat,
    I could see only one set of footprints.

    So I said to the Lord,
    “You promised me Lord,
    that if I followed you,
    you would walk with me always.
    But I have noticed that during
    the most trying periods of my life
    there have only been one
    set of footprints in the sand.
    Why, when I needed you most,
    you have not been there for me?”

    The Lord replied,
    “The times when you have
    seen only one set of footprints,
    is when I carried you.”
    Mary Stevenson

  33. While I understand your point here and I enjoyed your outlook, all you are stating is what the statement you are arguing against is actually stating. God will not leave you to deal with something you could not bear without the resources to bear it. He will be there and so will his anointed. A just God will NOT give you something he does not expect you to make it through. The beginning to this blog mocks the thought of a just God. He knows what we can bear with his help much more than we will ever understand. However, to stand alone is a stiff-necked approach that will not bare any fruit. I fear your outlook will become another misconception in our great mormon-culture and I must say that I in fact guarantee he will NOT give us more than we can handle, but we were never intended to handle it alone.

  34. This was beautifully written, and I appreciate it. I just thought I’d share something I learned in my study of Corinthians 10:13. If you read the passages suggested by the footnote, “temptations” and “tempted” in this passage also refer to trials, tests, and hardships. I have taken this passage to mean that as long as I am keeping the commandments of God, and trying to be a disciple of Christ, Heavenly Father and Christ will provide a way for me to learn and live through my trials. I have not suffered the way you have, but I believe that you have born this trial with faith in the Lord.

  35. Thank you for this post. 18 years after my dad’s death, I finally got to see his funeral service a few days ago when my mom sent me the VHS recording and I had it made into a DVD. I was unable to attend, though I was with him up to the day before he died, and know the pain and emotion and suffering you speak of. Seeing the funeral and hearing the tributes opened up the emotions and hurt again, but I have to admit, that frequently something will trigger a thought/memory of him and the tear flow easily. (I am crying now…). I can’t fathom how people go on through this kind of pain without the knowledge of the restored gospel and the assurance of a reunion with our loved ones after this life. Gail

  36. Thank you for this. I don’t think I have ever read one of your blogs, before. However, this was very inspirational. I have been struggling for quite some time now. I have run out of people to go to for comfort and advice, and have been basically trying to get through this alone. But your blog has made me remember that I am not alone. God is beside me. I just need to give my problems to him, and have him carry me through the storm. I really needed to hear this. Again, thank you for helping me remember something so very important.

  37. Yes, you have to depend on Him. I lost my husband almost 4 years ago, and it still seems like yesterday. Sometimes I feel like a hollow shell of a person that is just going thru the motions of “living”. I try, but it is such work to even laugh, smile, or even get up. God is definitely carrying me.

  38. Thank you so much for that message. I have been going thru so much here lately and have been at my breaking point so many times. God is in total charge of my life now, I can’t live without his help and I know this. He carried me a lot in 2013 when I could not handle it any longer. Thanks for the better understanding.

  39. Most of the time when we feel furthest from God we are in the very center of His will. When Jesus breathed his last breath and cried out “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”, it was the point where He himself felt furthest from the Father, but it was in that moment that He was redeeming the world back from darkness, sin, and struggle. He was in the absolute center of God’s will. He’s made us more than conquerors. Conquerors have victory over a situation, but MORE than conquerors have victory in the middle of a situation. Loved your post thanks for the encouraging words! Great reminder! Me and my wife felt the same after a miscarriage with twins during our first pregnancy! Be Blessed!

  40. I’m so sorry for your loss. I lost my father to cancer a week before Christmas in 2007. I’ve had alot of bad bad things happen to me, but this brought me to my knees in ways I never knew anything could. I am 56, so I should be able to handle this in an adult way, right? All I knew was my daddy was gone, after all the torture I watched them put him through. He was a big, strong, able man. Loved to learn new things and work. I’m still devastated and miss him every day.
    Then we lost our business, filed chapter 7, and struggled. One day my husband of 30 years just up and left. He stopped paying the mortgage we’d paid for 20 years. That was 3 1/2 years ago. my home is in foreclosure. I can’t work. Before dad got sick I had been diagnosed with severe fibromyalgia, which destroyed my busy life that I loved. Then the arthritis kicked in and I can hardly walk and spend alot of time in bed. I turn to God. I praise God. I ask for guidance and help. I SCREAM TO GOD SOME DAYS…WHY, WHY, WHY? I wonder where I’ll go when they take my home. I ask God. Where will my daughter and 3 year old grandaughter go? He has kept a roof over our heads and food in the cupboard and the meds I need all this time. I am grateful…so grateful. YES, GOD GIVES YOU MORE THAN YOU CAN HANDLE! I pray for Him to send me the help I need, because it’s all so tangled up. There are liens on the house that should have been taken off in the chapter 7. But they were not. So I can’t even sell the house and get some money to start again. My kids get mad because I haven’t done more. But I’ve been waiting on God! I have no clue where to start or what to do. If my father were here, he would know what to do. Is that why God took him and everyone else? So I would have nobody but Him to turn to? Whenever I try to talk to someone about my situation and getting help, they stop answering my call after a week or two. I wonder what’s going to happen? I’m so tired…so bone tired. God take this from me. I don’t want it. I can’t do it. I keep telling Him so. I JUST WANT AN ANSWER! In His time I’ll have it. IT’S MORE THAN I CAN TAKE! I CAN’T CARRY EVEN PART OF THIS LOAD I’VE BEEN LEFT WITH. IT’S BEEN GOING ON SOO LONG AND IT HURTS SOOO MUCH! MERCY! AND HOW DOES IT PROMOTE THE LOVE OF JESUS WHEN PEOPLE SEE ME AND KNOW I PROCLAIM MYSELF A CHRISTIAN? WHO WOULD WANT TO BE ME? IF ACCEPTING CHRIST DIDN’T MAKE MY LIFE GREAT {THIS IS WHAT I THINK THEY ARE THINKING, NOT ME}, THEN WHY WOULD THEY WANT TO ACCEPT CHRIST? I KNOW I AM BEING TESTED BY FIRE. I KNOW GOD CAN MAKE MY LIFE BETTER THAN IT EVER WAS BEFORE. LOOK AT JOB. But I don’t understand Job. What about the family he loved and lost? I know he got a new one, but still, my human heart doesn’t get it. Some days I feel like I’m losing my mind from stress. I forget what I’m doing from 1 room to the next. I backtrack over and over. My memory is gone. I pray to remember the scriptures, but they won’t stay. GODS HELP ME!!!

  41. I lost my husband to sudden and unexpected death. He had been sick for almost a year with heart failure. When he passed, I also questioned God for why me, why my family at this time. (youngest of 7 was senior and having some problems) One night, after a bad day, I just looked up and said”God you gave me this cross, now please help me carry it” and He did from that day onward. The pain never goes away, but it does get a little softer and easier to bear. When you are having a bad time, think about your Dad and I’m sure he will have a hand on your shoulder to ease your pain.

    Jean

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