I don’t like talking about hard lessons when I was in the wrong to begin with.
It’s a pride thing. Or an ego thing. Something like that.
It’s just simply uncomfortable.
I’d rather be the all-wise guru of knowledge that reeks of love and acceptance and all things righteous (yes, you can laugh). But…*sigh*. I’m human.
So are you, so I think I’m in good company, especially since I know so many of you and you’re all pretty much my tribe.
Today something difficult happened and I think the reason it was harder than usual is I haven’t had these kinds of feelings before and I haven’t had such inner turmoil about something like it either.
Someone I know pretty well has risen to the top in many ways. Lots of friends and acquaintances have shared this person’s work on social media and even affiliates from my church has endorsed this person. But each time I see it or read about it, a lump forms in my throat because of what I know. You see, I know this person and details that aren’t published for the world to see. I know what’s real, I know what’s fake, I know the back stories and the histories and even present situations and I know the damage that has been caused to other people who are now a platform for this person’s success. I refuse to discuss details. I haven’t told a single soul anything–not a name, not anything. But today I have carried it in my heart like a heavy stone and even said a simple prayer.
“Why, Heavenly Father, is (this person) allowed to deceive? Why do people who hurt or lie or become like the world gain such success and have NO repercussions?”
I know it probably sounds silly. Some of you might even think it sounds immature of me. But this blog isn’t to flash my perfection. It’s to discuss our collective imperfections.
I know that at least one of you out there have experienced this very thing, even if it’s a different circumstance. One of you has seen an abusive ex gain an incredibly prosperous life without you. One of you has been betrayed by a friend who looks perfect in all her profile pictures and hasn’t batted an eye that you carry pain. One of you out there has been hurt by a pastor or a minister who drives a Rolls Royce and couldn’t care less that you’ve left and feel like you have nothing. One of you out there, at least one of you, has wondered why karma hasn’t caught up to those who have left dirty, bloody war wounds on those around them.
And now, it’s later in the night and I think the quiet has helped me realize something that I wasn’t able to grasp during the noise of the day.
There’s no such thing as karma. And I shouldn’t even want there to be.
But there is such thing as a Heavenly Father. And He works everything out.
Our job on this earth isn’t to be on His jury to dole out the punishments we think we see fit or the “karma” that should roll around. If that were the case, that’d be a pretty sinful, hypocritical, biased jury wouldn’t it? I surely wouldn’t belong on that panel.
I’m grateful that we have a loving Savior and a gracious Heavenly Father who sees all things, just as we do, but who also sees the heart and can be the perfect judge. I’m grateful that when I feel the inclination to judge and be offended, He reminds me that I’m overstepping my bounds and that I shouldn’t judge lest I be judged likewise.
In James 4:12 it says so simply, “There is one lawgiver, who is able to save and to destroy: who art thou that judgest another?”
And in Galatians 6:7 it reminds us that He sees all and will take care of it even better than we could: “Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.”
It’s so hard to remember this, especially when our first inclination as human beings is to defend what we feel is right and to “correct” the wrongs that we see. I think we sometimes have the nasty habit of sniffing out wrongs like hound dogs and forgetting the things we still have to work on.
I see so many positive things now that I’m looking for them. One of my blog reader’s daughters just beat cancer. One of my friends who has been battling infertility just sent me a picture of her first ultrasound. My dog sleeps at my feet, precious and perfect. It was sunny today and the tulips in my front yard decided to burst into full bloom. Beauty everywhere.
So much to praise. Not enough time to condemn.
I’ll just go ahead and leave that up to the Master.
all our lemmony things 
Oh, this is exactly what I was pondering about this morning. And I have received the same answer. Thank you for your posts. They always are so honest. I really appreciate it. You are awesome!
I have been praying about judging others & asking for help. You have given the perfect lesson & scripture to help me overcome this habit that distances me from the Savior & Heavenly Father. Thank you!
I run into this all the time.. all we can do is remember like you kind of said, God is in full control.. these who seem to be walking away with no procussions they will suffer one day as they may deserve. . You just stay that beautiful person kayla and continue to bless all those who know you!
I love that shot
You are truly amazing! I’ve been home from work for a week now from some life events over the past 3 months or so. I have no self esteem or self worth n yes I was wanting to be with my daddy, who like yours is in heaven. It just got to the point of how everyone sees me. I’m going to carry James 4: 12 with me to read over whenever I have those feelings. Thank you!!
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all our lemmony things wrote:
> a:hover { color: red; } a { text-decoration: none; color: #0088cc; } a.primaryactionlink:link, a.primaryactionlink:visited { background-color: #2585B2; color: #fff; } a.primaryactionlink:hover, a.primaryactionlink:active { background-color: #11729E !important; color: #fff !important; } /* @media only screen and (max-device-width: 480px) { .post { min-width: 700px !important; } } */ WordPress.com Kayla Lemmon posted: “I don’t like talking about hard lessons when I was in the wrong to begin with. It’s a pride thing. Or an ego thing. Something like that. It’s just simply uncomfortable. I’d rather be the all-wise guru of knowledge that reeks of love and acceptance and “
Well chosen words. In life some of us have to endure much more abuse then others. My philosophy in my 71 years of life is to hold fast to path of what is right. Feel grounded to to the fact that I know I am a good person. Time often exposes the wrong. If not, I know God will sort it out. Truth and honesty always wins.
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Also, there’s one who uses her blog to uplift and encourage others to choose to see the good. You are a rock star. Thank you for this today.
I’ve been thinking about these things too. It’s true that it’s so easy to fall into the trap of thinking we know how a situation should be handled. What is “fair.” But our sense of fair is SO much less developed than that of Heavenly Father and I need to remember to trust the He’s got this.
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Beautiful sentiments…raw, honest and beautiful. Thanks so much for sharing!!!
To me Karma is another term for “what you reap, you shall sow” (aka Gal 6:7) It doesn’t come from someone taking up action to solicit a “karmic” response. It “to a Hindu” is a cosmic response to satisfy pure justice. Perhaps justice for us may not be satisfied in this life, but I will be satisfied in the next. I take comfort in knowing the final judgement will be absolutely fair and just, from a God born as a man and walking through all trial and tribulation, all pain and suffering. The hard thing for me is looking at life from my very finite perspective and thinking of how impossible it is for me to correctly judge from an eternal perspective. To me, a request for a Karmic response is a bump in my faith and understanding of a loving and JUST god.
Hi Kayla: I love your blog and have been a reader for quite sometime. I need to tell you that I read this and sobbed the whole time, because it’s almost as if your wrote this post specifically for me. I have a close family member who severely wronged me recently over a real-estate matter, for his own personal gain. It has hurt and scarred me, because his actions were selfish, and hurtful, and I am left trying to pick up the pieces, trying to avoid being homeless, and he is out vacationing, and having a wonderful time for himself, portraying himself to be a compassionate caring family oriented person, when it is family member like me who got him where he is today. This has been a devastating experience for me, and I have often wondered about his karma and when it would come back around, asking where is Heavenly Father in this? But, I was reminded reading your blog, that Heavenly Father will work all things out for the better for his children. I am clinging to that knowledge! Thank you so much for reminding us of this.
So wonderfully said.