God will give you more than you can handle: I guarantee it.

There’s a certain phrase I’ve come to really dislike.

All my life, I’ve heard this phrase whenever I go through a rough patch. *And by rough patch, I mean a prickly, gnarly patch that leaves me bleeding to near death*. You’re probably familiar with those kinds of “patches”.

“God will never give you more than you can handle” is the phrase I’m referring to.

more than to bear

And it’s a sweet sentiment, really. The people who say it are speaking from caring and concerned hearts.

BUT–it isn’t true.

I know that sounds harsh, but I promise I haven’t suddenly lost my mind or have become an angry-with-God bitter woman who hates the world. Actually, when I realized the simple fact that God can–and will–give us more than we can possibly bear, it got easier.

And it all started to make more sense.

I’ve often trudged through trials that overwhelm me. Ever since my childhood there have been trials that have made me “grow up” pretty fast. But granted, I know for a fact you’ve had your own fair share too, because that’s the reality of life. But this last trial is the one that shook me to my core and had me searching like a mad woman for answers as to why it was happening–and how I could possibly even survive it.

DSC_3283

I lost my Dad to cancer last month–if you’re a follower of mine, this is old news. But–it was absolutely horrific.

Every day leading up to his death was like walking through every level of hell–slowly– for lack of a better term. There’s no other way to describe it. The images…the sounds…the sleepless nights…the cries for God while we look on, helpless…the torment of rubbing morphine in his cheeks, praying it’ll absorb–but to no avail. The horrible, wrenching pain that came with lifting him up, laying him back down, lifting him up, laying him back down…because he became so restless and cried out for “home” every few minutes. And all along, in the back of my mind, I reminded myself that millions of people go through this, and have already gone through this, very thing. And it is simply unbearable. If you disagree–it’s because you haven’t been there.

SONY DSC

This trial was so consuming that I hate to even put it in the past tense–sometimes it still consumes me. Yesterday, at my Dad’s memorial service, it consumed me all over again.

I’ve suffered from nightmares where I relived the memory over and over mercilessly–I sometimes see his face on strangers that pass and worry that I’m going crazy. I cry over sad songs in the car and torture myself with stacks of pictures and yellowed photo albums. It’s beyond just missing him. And even with a firm testimony of the gospel and with peace that he is exactly where the Lord prepared him for, it is still too much for me to handle at times. It steals my breath–and it can steal my joy.

crying2

So, the other day, I turned to the scriptures. I needed help.

I wanted to know where that phrase was that people kept repeating to me in church and at work and over the phone. Why did the Lord “trust me so much”?! Why did He think I could handle these kinds of trials?

And then I realized: I couldn’t find that quote because it isn’t there.

It never mentions anywhere in the scriptures that the Lord won’t give you more than you can handle. Yes, in 1 Corinthians 10:13 it speaks of Him giving us an escape from temptations so that it’s not too much to bear. But when it comes to pain, trials, heartache, and burdens– not once does it say it won’t be more than we can bear. Instead, it beautifully says this instead:

“Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn of me…for my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” (Matt. 11: 28-30)

carrying man

The words struck my heart, as you can imagine. Christ is speaking to those of us who are carrying burdens much too heavy for our own shoulders. And in that one verse he simply states the reason why we are given more than we can handle: It’s so we can come to him. It’s so we can trust him enough to hand over our heavy, crippling burdens and let him carry the load.

You might be heavy laden right now like I was before reading and re-reading and re-reading once again this scripture that has never stuck out to me as much as it has lately.

trsut

You might be shrunken with sadness or drowning in debt. You might be overwhelmingly angry at someone at church or aching under the pressures of raising children or maybe the inability to have them. You might be dealing with a terminal disease and you still have young children. And chances are–you might need your Redeemer to find you on the path and take up that heavy cross you’re dragging. Besides, even he tells us that he’s more equipped to carry it, so why not hand it over?

I’ve come to learn–slowly but surely–why I need Him.

I suppose it’s because of pride that I always thought I could just do things on my own. I’m strong, I’d say. I’m a tough cookie. I can help others through their tribulations while carrying mine all by myself. Well…wasn’t I wrong.

at jesus feet

I didn’t really know what needing him meant until I had no other choice. I didn’t know what it meant until I wrapped my arms around my middle so I wouldn’t fall apart–or the time I choked on tears and yelled toward Heaven. Or the times when I was utterly alone, and the silence was too much to bear. Those are the times that taught me he’s not just a want or a convenient symbol of love or a reason to do good deeds.

No, he’s the very air we breathe.

And he’s the only one who can make it bearable when life is simply anything but.

About these ads

  1,607 comments for “God will give you more than you can handle: I guarantee it.

  1. April 23, 2014 at 2:35 am

    I have been browsing on-line greater than 3 hours as of late, but I never discovered any fascinating article like yours.
    It’s beautiful price enough for me. In my opinion,
    if all site owners and bloggers made excellent content material as you did, the web will probably be a
    lot more useful than ever before.

  2. April 23, 2014 at 9:17 am

    Heya! I just wanted to ask if you ever have any problems with
    hackers? My last blog (wordpress) was hacked and I ended up losing a few months of hard work due to no backup.

    Do you have any solutions to protect against hackers?

  3. Austin carter
    April 24, 2014 at 2:45 pm

    So you’re calling the Bible a liar when it says that God will never give you more than you can handle honey I’m sorry to say this but the Bibles truth and do you have a false opinion because the fact is you’re still here living and holding another breath if God gave you more than you can handle you would’ve been dead years ago so go back and recheck your statement because Honey God has never given you more than you can handle but a blessing every day with new challenges and temptations that the devil has put you through.

    • April 25, 2014 at 6:44 am

      You are nuts Austin! WHERE IN THE BIBLE DOES IT SAY HE WON’T GIVE YOU MORE THAN YOU CAN HANDLE!!! It doesn’t! People like you make me sick!

      • jr
        July 9, 2014 at 7:59 pm

        1 Corinthians 10:13New International Version (NIV)

        13 No temptation[a] has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted[b] beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted,[c] he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.

      • September 3, 2014 at 10:26 pm

        Easy Steve! Give your brother some slack. The only reason we feel as if we have more that we can handle is because we fail to obey God’s Word. It says in First Peter 5: 6-11, “Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time: Casting all your care upon Him; for He careth for you. Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion [not a roaring lion, but as a roaring lion], walketh about, seeking whom he may devour; Whom resist steadfast in the faith, knowing that the same afflictions are accomplished in your brethren that are in the world. But the God of all grace, who hath called us unto His eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after that ye have suffered a while, make you perfect, stablish, strengthen, settle you. To him be glory and dominion for ever and ever. Amen.” When we feel as if we have more that we can handle, give it to God and remember, Ephesians 6:10-16, “Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might. Put on the whole armour of God that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.

        Stand therefore, having your loins girt about with truth, and having on the breastplate of righteousness; And your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace; Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked.”

        Kayla is being attacked by satan although her Dad is safely in the arms of Jesus for all eternity. She needs to take authority over the thoughts or fiery darts of the wicked by standing on God’s Word. Second Timothy 1:7, “For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.” Fear is of satan and power, love and a sound mind are of God. I have quoted these scriptures over and over in trying times and I have always been able to bear whatever burden life sends my way by quoting God’s Word.

    • April 25, 2014 at 8:15 am

      Yes, Austin, please show where in the Bible it says this. I am eager for a reply with a scripture reference.

    • Misty
      May 9, 2014 at 7:59 pm

      Where in the bible does it say that He won’t give you more than you can handle? I’ve never read it, but I have read His grace is sufficient for they. I thought this was a outstanding article!!

      • Lisa
        September 20, 2014 at 2:50 pm

        I agree with you outstanding article. Just look at Job, why in the world would the book of Job be in there?

    • July 7, 2014 at 8:56 am

      can you please show me where in the bible it says that God will NOT give me more than I can handle. I have looked tirelessly and I know it is there!!!

    • DH
      July 7, 2014 at 5:09 pm

      She is correct, in stating that phrase is not in the bible. There’s a quote like it; but there is nothing that says “God will never give you more than you can bear(handle).” You have completely misunderstood her point. There are many examples in scripture where people are given more than they can handle. It was only their faith that got them through it. How about those that have taken their lives due to the circumstances involved, did God give them more than they could handle, because they are no longer here? In addition to that quote not being in the Bible, we can find plenty of quotes that mean the exact opposite that are in the Bible, including one from Paul himself where he writes: “Brothers and sisters, we don’t want you to be unaware of the troubles that we went through in Asia. We were weighed down with a load of suffering that was so far beyond our strength that we were afraid we might not survive.” (2 Corinthians 1:8)– “My wrongdoings are stacked higher than my head; they are a weight that’s way too heavy for me.” (Psalms 38:4) Throughout scripture, we encounter people overwhelmed by what befalls them. And lest we forget, this applies to Jesus, too, who dies in agony on the cross, crying out “My God, My God, why have you left me?”

      • July 9, 2014 at 7:30 am

        Thank you DH, your response is well put together! I love the examples you’ve shown and that last statement about Jesus feeling abandoned!!! WOW!!!

      • Lisa
        September 20, 2014 at 2:52 pm

        Excellent, thank you!

      • September 20, 2014 at 9:35 pm

        2 Corinthians 1 King James Version (KJV)

        1 Paul, an apostle of Jesus Christ by the will of God, and Timothy our brother, unto the church of God which is at Corinth, with all the saints which are in all Achaia:

        2 Grace be to you and peace from God our Father, and from the Lord Jesus Christ.

        3 Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort;

        4 Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God.

        5 For as the sufferings of Christ abound in us, so our consolation also aboundeth by Christ.

        6 And whether we be afflicted, it is for your consolation and salvation, which is effectual in the enduring of the same sufferings which we also suffer: or whether we be comforted, it is for your consolation and salvation.

        7 And our hope of you is stedfast, knowing, that as ye are partakers of the sufferings, so shall ye be also of the consolation.

        8 For we would not, brethren, have you ignorant of our trouble which came to us in Asia, that we were pressed out of measure, above strength, insomuch that we despaired even of life:

        9 But we had the sentence of death in ourselves, that we should not trust in ourselves, but in God which raiseth the dead:

        10 Who delivered us from so great a death, and doth deliver: in whom we trust that he will yet deliver us;

        11 Ye also helping together by prayer for us, that for the gift bestowed upon us by the means of many persons thanks may be given by many on our behalf.

        When we read the whole scripture we can see that Paul understood the importance of the prayers of the saints on Paul’s behalf. At the end of Ephesians 6:13-19 God’s objective in giving us His armor, prayer as found in verse 18 and that the saints would pray for Paul to have boldness in proclaiming the gospel. And remember Job did not have the armor of God or authority over the devil like we do.

        Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.

        14 Stand therefore, having your loins girt about with truth, and having on the breastplate of righteousness;

        15 And your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace;

        16 Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked.

        17 And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God:

        18 Praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, and watching thereunto with all perseverance and supplication for all saints;

        19 And for me, that utterance may be given unto me, that I may open my mouth boldly, to make known the mystery of the gospel,

        20 For which I am an ambassador in bonds: that therein I may speak boldly, as I ought to speak.

    • Isabella
      August 8, 2014 at 2:23 pm

      God never says that he’ll never give you more than he can bear. The Bible says that he’ll never allow the devil to TEMPT you beyond what you can bear. The Bible is truth, but people aren’t. This quote is something that people say that misrepresents the Bible, and if you care anything about truth you should care about that. And if you’ve studied, looking for this verse, you’d know that she’s right. People didn’t take that out of the Bible. It’s not there. They just made it up. You can’t say that someone’s a liar if they never said it, and the Bible never said this.

    • Don Andersen
      August 9, 2014 at 8:42 am

      It is just a matter of perspective. You need to realize that IF God only gave us what we could bear, we would NEVER need to turn to Him for help!

    • Ashley
      August 28, 2014 at 2:17 pm

      The Bible does not say that God will not give you more than you can handle. It says, as she quoted in 1 Corin. 10:13, that no temptation has overtaken you and with the temptation God will also make the way of escape, so that we can bear it. That is referring to temptation and only temptation. God most definitely gives us more than we can bear. He does that so that we turn to him and depend on him. His power is made perfect in our weakness. So, yes He gives us more than we alone can bear. But, He does not give us more than we AND Him together can bear.

    • Di
      August 28, 2014 at 3:10 pm

      It is clear to me you didn’t read her entire article. She talked about the scripture you are talking about. She also talks about not being able to handle everything on your own and you will need Christ to take upon your burdens.
      “Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn of me…for my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” (Matt. 11: 28-30)

      God absolutely will give you more then you can handle so you will come unto him. :)

  4. Norma T
    April 25, 2014 at 8:02 pm

    Yes, Book, chapter and verse please? Not there! If I could handle everything myself, I wouldn’t need Him! He gives us more than we can handle so we HAVE to depend on Him!

  5. Ian
    April 26, 2014 at 10:54 am

    Sorry about your dad; it’s a horrible experience isn’t it?

    But good for you that you discovered a deep truth about God and are sharing it with others. There is hope no matter how badly life hurts us.

    Who knows more about pain and suffering and having more than you can handle but the Lord Jesus Christ himself who was in despair on the cross. And he was totally blameless unlike everyone else on this earth.

    Austin, I think you are mistaken. Many, many people are hit by disaster, tragedy, trials and tribulations too much for anyone to cope with.

    And sometimes God even lets it happen to people who believe in Him or who are living relatively righteous lives. Remember Job?

    I don’t always know why these things happen (although sometime I do but that is beyond the scope of this comment) but I do know that whatever hits you, no matter how nasty it is, how much it hurts or how hard it is to understand, keep trusting in God. He is who He says he is. He is righteous and truthful. He does love us and will heal our pain if we let Him.

    “Though he slay me, yet will I trust in him.” Job 13:15

    • Kathy
      July 2, 2014 at 11:34 pm

      nice :-)

    • August 15, 2014 at 10:56 am

      Any of us who have experienced the pain of living life knows that trials come upon us that hurt so deeply that in despair, through faith in the Holy Son of God, we fall to our knees. This was the example of our Savior in the Garden of Gethsemane, when He atoned for each one of us individually. Three times Jesus prayed to the Father saying, “Father, if thou be willing, remove this cup from me: nevertheless, not my will, but thine, be done” (Luke 22:42). He, too, our brother, suffered beyond His ability, yet He knew His mission was to submit to the will of the Father. Angels were sent to Him to strengthen Him; yet, even in His agony He prayed more fervently, and “His sweat, was as it were, great drops of blood” (Luke 22:44). We can’t comprehend that atoning sacrifice, but it was necessary for our own strength; our faith in this truth… Jesus did that for us in order that we may have life ever after. He, too, had to place His trust in His Father. What humble gratitude we have for our Savior. He suffered all our pains, and His cries went up to our Father’s as do ours at times in life. Joy returns… it always does, but we still feel the pangs of the darker days. We humbly feel a glimpse of the pain our beloved Savior suffered. That faith in the atonement means that we, too, must place our faith in God, as the Savior did. He is our example, and our only way to exaltation. How grateful I am to know that the words of God are true. As Ian stated above, “He does love us and will heal our pain if we let Him.”

  6. maddog
    April 28, 2014 at 4:31 am

    Kayla, thank you for your wisdom, I too have been going thru much loss and shame in my case….It came down to giving it to Jesus…My buddy had mentioned while discussing my situation that I should really give it to Our Lord Jesus, let him take your burden and give you rest….WOOOOOOOW girl, I finally gave it over to him..It’s like a bomb went off next to me…Wow did I wake up…The Holy Spirit zapped me!!! Got on my knees and told the Lord, I can’t do this anymore, I was desperate, confused, scared, panicked, anxiety attacks continually…But, when I looked up to Jesus and he saw my desperation it was thru his word, prayer, persistence, on my knees weeping and weeping that God knew my heart and then he took my burden….He wants us to really go to the bottom, everyone is different….He wanted me to bottom out….it was more than I could bare….And Bam!!!! Peace that is amazing, beyond my comprehension…I don’t want to go back to that deep dark time, I know dark is coming again, but now I know how to put out those fiery darts, lies, deceit, confusion….Word of God, Knowing it constantly, reading, reading, studying it….anything that can clog my thoughts I banish them….I can now tell were my thoughts have come from, God, Me, satan….lol its amazing to know that God is in control of me….don’t worry about comments that some folks make…In fact if I had a blog I think it would drive me nuts looking at all the responses…your braver than me sister…Anyways my dear sister In our Lord Jesus, we will all go thru some immense pain in our lives….I can tell you that’s why we all need each other desperately in the body of Christ, to tell our stories….The Holy spirit has pushed your little fingers to bless me and many others….My Father in Heaven, thank you for the deliverance of my sister, thank you for what you are doing in my life…Your my Daddy, I love you eternally, give us the strength to continue till the end of this life and be renewed by our meeting personally with our arms wrapped around you…..Hallelujah!!

  7. Mike Pennington
    April 28, 2014 at 12:30 pm

    Here’s the Scripture some seem to be looking for that show that, YES, God will give us more than we can bear . . . I’ll mention the good news in a moment. It is 2 Corinthians 1:8-9: Delivered in the Midst of Suffering

    8 For we do not want you to be ignorant, brethren, of our trouble which came to us in Asia: that we were burdened beyond measure, above strength, so that we despaired even of life. 9 Yes, we had the sentence of death in ourselves, that we should not trust in ourselves but in God who raises the dead, 10 who delivered us from so great a death, and does[a] deliver us; in whom we trust that He will still deliver us, 11 you also helping together in prayer for us, that thanks may be given by many persons on our[b] behalf for the gift granted to us through many.

    Yes, Paul was burdened beyond measure, above strength and despaired of life. The good news? In v. 9 “that we should not trust in ourselves but in God who raises the dead.” We are burdened above what we can bear so that it drives us to God and an unshakable faith in Him. Faith in self and our strength is futile. I do not know what the future hold, but I do know who holds the future – and I’ll stand with Him.

  8. brian
    May 1, 2014 at 6:24 am

    Oh hey.

    I’m in the same leaky underpowered sinking boat going up shitts creek and somebody swiped my paddle to state where I feel I am.

    I made a deal with dog in 2006 and he reneged on the deal. He told me my dad could have another 8 full years after making it through heart surgery.

    My dad died Sept 15/13 and I can’t shake it. I had an issue with him but when my daughter was born we reconciled and he got to love and adore her for 3 1/2 years. I had hoped he’d live to see her start school but no dice.

    Yesterday I had to put down my cat of 13 years. He saw me through incredibly tough times over his years and was always there for me. I’m so incredibly sad at his loss. It’s like all the pain in my losses over the last 3 years cumulatively added up and ended up in him. His name was Mouse and he was beautiful.

    He and I lost his cat companion of 10 years in 2012. She was called Ginger and was a dainty delicate little girl that Mouse would mother hen over her.

    My last 15 years has been one of constant crap. I’ve done nothing wrong in the world so why was I handed such a bad deal Actually all my life has been raw compared to most any other person walking on this ball of dirt.

    I still speak to dog occasionally and I tell him I’m going to kick him in the nuts so hard his balls will rattle around in his skull when I get to see him for all the shit he handed me for no good reason.

    I will. Mark my words.

    And for all you freaks who insist you never get more than you can handle then explain to me why anyone would commit suicide to escape the burden?

    You can’t so F off with your further platitudes and enjoy your cult.

    • Christopher Baker
      May 21, 2014 at 3:36 am

      Brian,
      I feel your pain.
      I’m not going to offer you any “platitudes” as that would waste your time and mine.
      I lost my daughter to cancer in November – melanoma that spread to her brain and I watched that 28-year old mother of two have seizure after seizure just ravage what was left of her body before she finally passed. Her daughter turned 1-year old two weeks before Kristi died.
      My mother just died in February. Again, Cancer, that despicable whore that shows no mercy to it’s victims. Ma fought it for nearly two years. But cancer is a merciless prize fighter that is un-relentless. Few ever win the fight.
      So yeah, Brian, I gettit.
      Perhaps the difference is I KNOW that the two I lost have been healed. Truth be told, they’re in a place that I would give anything to be there with them. (Platitude alert)
      But I feel your pain. I share it. And I want nothing more for you than to know the peace that I know.
      Brian, you are loved.

  9. lacy
    May 4, 2014 at 11:15 pm

    Favorite scripture: D&C 24:8 Be patient in afflictions, for thou shalt have many; but endure them, for, lo, I am with thee, even unto the end of thy days.

    We cannot handle our burdens. But with Him we can try. We are never alone

  10. David
    May 5, 2014 at 12:53 pm

    The scripture that so many are failing to find actually deals with temptation. I think you could possible view trials as temptation to turn away from God or blame him. The point I am making is that someone has taken the phrase, “But God… will not suffer you to be tempted above that which you are able… to bear…” in 1 Cor 10:13 and used it/changed it enough that people are saying, “God won’t give you more than you can handle.” This isn’t too far off if we are talking about handling temptation but it doesn’t matter because I believe whether it’s temptation or trials he doesn’t give us more than we are able to bear in either case. The reason: The rest of the scripture explains that he will make a way to escape and a way to bear it. So, the scripture, in my opinion, is saying that he won’t give us more (temptation or otherwise) than we can bear with his help.

  11. keijo leppioja
    May 9, 2014 at 6:12 am

    Yes let us make every the day more sweetare and more bless and for for the key thi is to do good and sowing good things from us and obey the lord in his the word teaching eating and drinking from the bible wisdom and be so glad time after time ,thanks and bless,keijo sweden

  12. MomofIrshtrpl
    May 12, 2014 at 6:49 pm

    This is an awesome article. It is very reassuring to hear those verses and to know that yes, there is pain and suffering on this Earth, but all we have to do is give it to God! Once you do, it’s out of your hands..that’s what His great plan involves..drawing us near to Him so we can inherit His kingdom! This IS NOT our home. Heaven is😊

    • Tan
      May 22, 2014 at 8:08 am

      We can endure through our struggles by the grace of God. God does not allow us to be tempted more than we can bear. Temptation leads to sin which disconnects us from God and our faith. The very fact that you have said that you gave your burden to Jesus, tells me that you still had some faith left. So my conclusion is that you was not tempted more more than you can bear. I confess this scripture all the time and I believe that God knows us inside and out and he knows exactly how far we can endure. Yes he allows trials and tests, just like he did to Job. But he also gives us enough grace to persevere. Either way I am glad you kept your faith through your trials because without faith it is impossible to please God. Be blessed.

      • July 2, 2014 at 11:59 pm

        What about those people who are so broken by trauma that they become mentally ill and suffer PTSD for the rest of their lives? I know some good Christian soldiers this has happened to. Would you call them weak? Would you blame them for their “lack of faith?” They lack not faith.
        What about a six-month-old baby who was raped to death? Was she given more than she could endure? You say that “God knows exactly how far we can endure”…but she died! She apparently did not have “enough grace to persevere”.
        Perhaps God is not doling out the exact levels of meanness and suffering that a person can endure, and just the right amount of grace to persevere. Perhaps that’s just us struggling to understand a world so full of pain, and us projecting our limited human thoughts and emotions onto our Lord.
        Tan, I pray that God burdens your heart with empathy towards those who suffer more than they can endure. The world is full of us.

        P.S. here is the info about the baby:
        COLUMBUS, Ohio (AP) — Condemned killer Steven Smith’s argument for mercy isn’t an easy one. Smith acknowledges he intended to rape his girlfriend’s 6-month-old daughter but says he never intended to kill the baby.
        The girl, Autumn Carter, died because Smith was too drunk to realize his assault was killing her, Smith’s attorneys argued in court…

        google Steven Smith, Columbus Ohio, April 2013

  13. Debby
    May 31, 2014 at 8:06 pm

    When my first husband was ill, people would say this to me. One time my best friend said it to me and I was at one of my lowest. I started to yell at her, I said I’m sick of hearing people say that! We need to rethink that phrase. I now tell people that God gives us just what we need to make it through everything we go through! Not too much, not too little, just enough.

    • July 3, 2014 at 12:08 am

      Are you so naive as to think that everyone “makes it through everything we go through?” That’s just as insensitive as people feeding you platitudes when you’re at your lowest.

      Here’s a copy of part of my comment to Tan:
      COLUMBUS, Ohio (AP) — Condemned killer Steven Smith’s argument for mercy isn’t an easy one. Smith acknowledges he intended to rape his girlfriend’s 6-month-old daughter but says he never intended to kill the baby.
      The girl, Autumn Carter, died because Smith was too drunk to realize his assault was killing her, Smith’s attorneys argued in court…

      Although this is an extreme example of a baby not “making it through everything she went through,” this happens every single day. People die of trauma and suffering, murder and rape and torture, every day. They are broken with mental illness because of trauma every day. People die horrific, painful deaths. People lose entire families in house fires and car accidents. Ad nauseam.
      Not everyone gets a happy ending. What platitude do you have to offer them? Or do you just blame them for a lack of faith, or grace, or strength, or whatever you pride yourself for having that they don’t?

  14. Jackie Lopez
    June 2, 2014 at 6:43 am

    1 Corinthians 10:13

    • Gen
      June 2, 2014 at 8:21 am

      1 Corinthians 10:13 is about temptation, not trials.

  15. June 5, 2014 at 10:45 am

    thank you..beautiful article…i actually thought that quote was from the bible..only after reading this article did i learn that it is not..i pray god heals you emotionally from the pains..kisses…and a BIG HUG..XXX

  16. June 16, 2014 at 12:15 pm

    I’m so sorry for your loss. I was searching about the meaning of “God never gives you more than you can handle”… and came across your wonderful post. It’s been so many months that I feel that God has given me way more than I ever could handle and it’s not easing up. Reading your post is guiding me towards some sort of peace… especially when I saw your picture of the word TRUST. I just did a vision board and that is the exactly same photo I used. Thank you… Bless you!!

  17. June 30, 2014 at 5:29 pm

    I am going through some rough patches on my job and until your story I thought I had it bad. Now I just say- Bring it on because my God is bigger than anything a job can dish out!!

    • June 30, 2014 at 5:31 pm

      My God is bigger than any job can dish out!!!

  18. Sharon
    July 6, 2014 at 2:30 pm

    I do understand what many of you are saying about the hard and terrible things that happen to people in this world.I could tell you my story and much like the other lady that talked about the trials she has faced throughout her entire life….or the gentleman who lost his father and cat….I have seen my fair share of tragedy, sadness, grief and trauma.
    but Jesus Himself said in our lives we would have trials and tribulations but not to lose heart or to give up for he has overcome the world. And as terrible as this sounds I sometimes just want to say “Jesus this is too much!” but for everything there is a season. At some point in your life you will lose your parents, your pets, your brothers or sisters….that is simply part of being a human. in the case of the little baby that was raped and killed are you willing to admit that that was not God’s doing but another human being? And as much as I hate to admit it God did give human beings free will. it was that man’s evil that killed that child….his choice. his free will to torture and brutalize that child. if we readily accept good in this world then do we not also have to acknowledge the evil?
    I am no scholar and I certainly do not claim to know the answers……I’m just saying you can’t blame everything on God!

    Like the author, to every tragedy in my life people have always said that phrase to me and I have often despised it. Yes, sometimes God does let things happen to us or does put more on us than we can humanly bear! but through these horrendous events we learn there is a power greater than us and there are people who love us and care about us and just maybe there is a lesson to be learned in all things.

    • August 9, 2014 at 11:29 am

      Great reply! I think as many opinions expressed on this blog there are answers x10. Everyone has their own path to walk and a purpose. It’s a very personal promise made to find him or continue to be obedient regardless. He will bring us to our knees which in my opinion is a comfort. I know he’s there and loves me. Everyone is right. We are brothers and sisters in God’s eyes. We ALL are his children. It’s time to start behaving that way. It’s not a debate, its a personal path to walk.

  19. Dee
    July 10, 2014 at 2:46 pm

    Humans don’t esteem brokenness as God does. Our brokenness was first evidenced by Eve and Adam’s ‘fall’ in the Garden of Eden. God created humanity with abundant, full scope provision to thrive (Gen. 1:28). After the fall, God discourses briefly to all the breaching parties the consequence of their misdeeds: altered relationships, pains, regrets, God’s increased provision, and experiential threshholds along with their plight’s propitiation, redemption, and exaltation (Gen. 3:15-19). Notably, God cursed only the snake, while the only other curse was the result of humanity’s choice. God’s further discourse carefully explains to the couple their new ‘status quo’. God gives more grace when their burdens are greater, God evicts the couple from Eden to avert another wrong choice causing eternal brokenness (Gen. 3:22). As the couple, and all of humanity soon realize, while the human spirit is created to survive (Prov. 18:14), our self-distancing from God is especially realized in times when relationships are most necessary (Gen. 2:18; Eccl. 4:9; Eccl. 4:12). While we are far from God, God never forsakes us in provision, nor presence throughout our life walk (Ps. 34:18; Ps. 51:17; Mark 16:20; Ps. 74:14; Gen. 1:29-30; Lev. 26:10; Deut. 7:13-15). The durability of humanity is depicted in Job’s story. God’s perspective of damage control was not at all the same as Job’s. And God’s posture toward Job at all times was to bring Job to the ‘next level’ in relationship with God. Neither Job, nor any one of us, can earn or should seek to earn God’s love. Rather, faith in God is acceptable. Trusting God sees our life circumstances and is alive with us in them, there’s the rub. God is righteous and trustworthy. And, above all, God loves us. Perhaps a reiteration is necessary to be fully assured of God’s daily involvement and engagement in our lives. Jesus Christ’s death on Calvary’s cross didn’t ”make it as though we’ve never sinned”, but instead, proves that our sin condition needed redeeming (Matt. 10:28). Christ’s work at Calvary was not an act intended to appease God’s anger, nor to afford God no further need–nor inclination–to engage with us and to be involved in our lives or care about us until the next time humanity caused another nuisance (Matt. 5:17). Not at all. God sending Christ to die for us is a very big deal to God (Rom. 5:6). Relationship restoration between humanity and God is so pinnacle to God that becoming our sacrifice was preferred over destroying humanity or allowing humanity to self-destruct (Jn. 3:16-17). My trials, though many of them have been severe, are not an expression of God’s punishment (Ezek. 18:23). Often, it is just the further depiction of humanity’s brokenness (Ps. 91). I also have been in life-crisis, many times. Yet, I am still here alive and living to tell about – not without scars and wounds. Trust God’s faithfulness to keep giving you wisdom and keep what you commit to Him.

  20. Dee
    July 10, 2014 at 3:21 pm

    Chapter 29 of Job was helpful to me during a time of losing a beloved family member. It covers the rise of life, the appreciations of humanity, the applause and accomplishments. Then the fears of what happens when the sands of time and circumstance and hardships grip us. For me, the key verse was Job 29:13 (I’m paraphrasing) The blessing of a dead man fell to me, and the widow’s heart was filled with joy. It was very helpful to me, to know the harsh reality of human condition paired with God’s incredible grasp of my circumstance, being the only caring soul on behalf of my loved one. I alone cared, and saw, and felt. But now (and a good bit of praying about it, conversing with God) I have a much more complete practice of my own living. That isn’t the only thing my life has ever experienced, not by a long shot. But it made a very big difference in resolving hindsight, strength toward my future, and living in my ‘now’.

  21. July 14, 2014 at 10:55 pm

    Fabulous, what a webpage it is! This webpage gives helpful facts to us,
    keep it up.

  22. Daniel
    July 22, 2014 at 10:13 pm

    Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin said in a talk entitled “Running your marathon” in general conference in Oct. 1989 said:

    “You young people face the same temptations that have been common throughout history, plus many others that were unknown to earlier generations. However, be sure you understand that God will not allow you to be tempted beyond your ability to resist. (See 1 Cor. 10:13.) He does not give you challenges that you cannot surmount. He will not ask more than you can do, but may ask right up to your limits so you can prove yourselves. The Lord will never forsake or abandon anyone. You may abandon him, but he will not abandon you. You never need to feel that you are alone.”

    President Howard W. Hunter in a conference talk in Oct. 1987 said:

    “If you have troubles at home with children who stray, if you suffer financial reverses and emotional strain that threaten your homes and your happiness, if you must face the loss of life or health, may peace be unto your soul. We will not be tempted beyond our ability to withstand. Our detours and disappointments are the straight and narrow path to Him, as we sing in one of our favorite hymns:”

    These quoted are from a prophet and apostle of the Lord Jesus Christ.

    Refer to D&C 1:38

  23. B.
    July 26, 2014 at 6:28 pm

    Hi, I was googling some Kafka quotes and somehow landed at your page and read your blog post. I’m sorry about your dad, my youngest sister is chronically ill and I can’t tell you how it feels to see how helpless we all are towards her rare disease. I am Muslim and we have a verse in Quran that says exactly “God will never give you more that you can handle” لا يكلف الله نفسا الا وسعها

  24. July 28, 2014 at 9:48 am

    I loved your post and needed it today. Thanks.

  25. Nitzie
    July 29, 2014 at 7:17 pm

    I recently read a book on laments in the Psalms by Glenn Pemberton. The author mentions that in 40% of them, the psalmist is telling God how very bad life is. The author goes on to mention that, especially in the US, Christians have forgotten the language of lament. Our churches do not have a time or place to really let those of us in pain express and acknowledge it.

    Does God give us more that we can bear? I guess that depends on your definition of “bearing it”. If it means am I still breathing? – then yes, I can bear it. If it means do I want to keep on breathing? – then sometimes it is more than I can bear – and it is ONLY God’s grace that I am still breathing.

    Maybe there are people who never reach that second question. But as the author of the above book comments – many of the Psalms of thanksgiving start by telling about the terrible time the psalmist just went through and thanking God they are still here to praise him.

  26. August 16, 2014 at 10:20 am

    when God come unto us no one run from Him,for He is on His own. The only trough God be with us all. I love you all Up there, thanks to the Lord, Godwin Kwasi Ahor.

  27. Jubilee
    August 17, 2014 at 8:39 am

    As a 3-component being, and the spiritual part needing God, our inability to self-sustain is obvious. The issue posted is overwhelming grief – grieving God says ‘endures a night, with joy in the morning. Doing grief’s pain is a skill to be learned. It does have a start and end. Guaranteed, joy does come after. Grief is more an ocean wave that swells, crests, breaks, becomes a swelling, repeat. Much of life is a roller coaster that weans us into and settles predictably. Grief reveals a hidden somewhat terrifying soul-depth… The in my face is total, but is in my soul. Soul is deeper than physical. Much. God reaches to is so we need not chase after Him.

  28. August 18, 2014 at 1:08 pm

    I understand your pain because I have lost both my mother an daddy..but child you will know a much greater pain if you ever lose a child! I recently lost my son at 43 and the ache in my soul is so bad I really do not think I can bear it ! I am now left with his 2 children 13 & 15 and at 62 it will be very hard, but this is my life and as much as I love those stinkers, I had much rather God had taken me & left my precious son to raise his own children !

    • September 11, 2014 at 6:39 pm

      You will survive….. and, the children will become adults…..and, YOU “WILL” make a good life for yourself, too! Claim it. I went back to school @66…..and, with the help of financial aid and scholarships (high GPA)….presently enrolled in Bachelor Degree program….Plan to graduate December 2015 @72….There is life after…. Especially, since I had my youngest son (now 29) when my oldest son went to college….and middle son in HS. Sometimes I am surprised that I am still breathing…and, quite well, at that! Lost first husband when oldest two sons were 4 & 7. Remarried….divorced after 25 years. Had to leave my home. Brushed myself off and relocated to Florida….remarried….lost my home ….. (Had gone into real estate…and the market turned in ’08….) ….and, with much trepidatin…went back to school. Why? Figure out what I wanted to be when I grow up? Perhaps. An easier answer to those who ask me, “Why?” er….If I told them I went to the gym three days a week, I would be commended for doing something good….School? Not much. However, I have been consistently on the Dean’s List….received AA Journalism degree Magna Cum Laude @69…and, top 1% of 32,000 enrolled, chosen to Phi Theta Kappa Honor Society. Believe me, I am not bragging….just amazed. A lesson that we all could use. Age is just a number. You will do your job for your son (best reason) in raising his children the rest of the way….You were “chosen.”
      You should read my Blog http://welcometobarbarasworldofeducation.wordpress.com/ for a more in depth understanding of a life–which reads like a Grade B novel–filled with challenges….. You can’t make this sh*t up! :)
      Hugs from: Barbara’s World xx

  29. lisa
    August 24, 2014 at 6:02 pm

    “God doesn’t give you more then you can handle” Mother Theresa said it and I dont believe it at ALL! For the past 6 yeara I have been going thru unbearable trials and tribulations. 2008 to 2011 I was stalked yet I had criminal chargesressed against me, thankfully the DA saw thur it and expunged my record, then my ex husband was arrested for raping 3 girls and CYS wanted me to take custody of his son, who wasnt my child. That put me into a nasty custody battle. I dealt with it for as long as I could then sent him to live with his aunt. The very next day my mother is diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer, so much for “centering myself”. Then my current husband hru me out of the house for taking his geother to see his dying father. So I left, he changed the locks on he house, took all money from the accounta, forged my name on our income tax check, lied in court to get custody of our children…..he won, but then sign off on closing the custody case giving me access to hem again, but I was only given 1 hour superviaed visitation. He the drug dealer pot smokong upstand father got custody….disguists me. So theres another custody hearing. Did I mention I am also in nursing school and caring for my mother, and involved in a lawsuit over selling our house. Did I further say that my ex is brainwashing my mother and she is making him coffee in the morning while they converse about what im doing. All his in 3 years simultaneously. We can also add the my brothers wife is hitting on kymwx hisband ans shemalsomis telling him things as well. I also got8t to see my son be violent with me as well as his girlfriends. Lets not forget the teenage girls with daddy issues because he didnt want to pay child support so he abandon them. So yes he does give us more then we can handle. One suicide attempt on my part. Things setles down for a while but november 2013 its all starting again Whatngood could all of this bring, I wonder everyday.

  30. September 3, 2014 at 10:15 pm

    Kayla, you stated, “I’ve suffered from nightmares where I relived the memory over and over mercilessly–I sometimes see his face on strangers that pass and worry that I’m going crazy. I cry over sad songs in the car and torture myself with stacks of pictures and yellowed photo albums. It’s beyond just missing him. And even with a firm testimony of the gospel and with peace that he is exactly where the Lord prepared him for, it is still too much for me to handle at times. It steals my breath–and it can steal my joy.” When I begin to worry or feel anxious my scripture is First Peter 5: 6-11, “Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time: Casting all your care upon Him; for He careth for you. Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion [not a roaring lion, but as a roaring lion], walketh about, seeking whom he may devour; Whom resist steadfast in the faith, knowing that the same afflictions are accomplished in your brethren that are in the world. But the God of all grace, who hath called us unto His eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after that ye have suffered a while, make you perfect, stablish, strengthen, settle you. To him be glory and dominion for ever and ever. Amen.”

    And never forget, Ephesians 6:10-16, “Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might. Put on the whole armour of God that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.

    Stand therefore, having your loins girt about with truth, and having on the breastplate of righteousness; And your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace; Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked.”

    You are under attack by the devil although your Dad is safely in the arms of Jesus. Second Timothy 1:7, “For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.” Fear is of satan and power, love and a sound mind are of God. Humble yourself under the mighty hand of God and rebuke the thoughts, or fiery darts, from the devil and trust God that your Dad is safe and you will see him again someday.

  31. September 5, 2014 at 10:08 pm

    An intriguing discussion is definitely worth comment. I do believe that you
    should publish more on this subject, it may not be a taboo subject but usually folks
    don’t talk about such subjects. To the next!
    Best wishes!!

  32. September 11, 2014 at 6:18 pm

    These very challenging situations always remind me of “God Gives the Most to Those He Loves the Most”…..and, Fiddler on the Roof (Broadway circa 1960s), Zero Mostel’s riling to God….”Stop Loving Me so Much!”

  33. lisslands
    September 11, 2014 at 10:06 pm

    I really appreciated this article. This is exactly where I am right now, so completely overwhelmed with my life that I just HAVE to look up and say, “I can’t do this, you’re gonna have to do it through me.” And you are right, that’s when peace has come. It is a relief to know that I simply can’t do this on my own, and that it will be to the Lord’s glory alone that any good comes from it at all. Thank you for sharing. I hope it brings peace to someone who needs to hear it.

  34. Melanie
    September 16, 2014 at 1:13 pm

    I recently told my son this very statement wasn’t true after he told me God wouldn’t give him more than he could handle. Sometimes I think God wants us to not be so self-sufficient and to lean on him more and humbles us to get us there. It’s the only explanation for me. Yes, there are many of us who are “strong” and Christian but we have to learn over and over again to go to and give it to God. Wonderful article and thank you for sharing it. God bless you in your grief and in my experience, some of those images will fade and be replaced with the loving images from before the illness. Keep on praying and leaning on God’s truth and strength.

  35. September 23, 2014 at 1:53 am

    When I initially commented I clicked the “Notify me when new comments are added” checkbox and now each time
    a comment is added I get three emails with the same comment.
    Is there any way you can remove me from that service? Thank you!

  36. Ivan M .
    September 27, 2014 at 12:14 am

    The fact is God never ever leave us…. But our mind and with and that heart – emotions, are turned against God .,.. Lord is still there, but we in our pain see him not. … All s left in us is our will to love , believe and hope. …. We know this virtues are happiness of life … so lets hang one with OUR will, that is the ONLY place where we are free … Satan or Evil, call it what you want, IS’T allowed to touch our FREE will … Christ by words ‘Father why have you forsaken me’ were not words of hate or disbelieve in God but show a real human nature od Christ in unbearable pain.
    Lord bless … the way I see !

  37. Vicky
    September 28, 2014 at 11:31 pm

    It is an excellent article by Kayla, as are many of the comments. I have been through many shattering trials myself, the worst lasting for over 6 years which I was sure I’d never survive and still suffered PTSD 3 yrs after.

    Looking at Scriptures as a whole- there will be adversity in life but by leaning (falling sometimes) on Jesus Christ who bears our pain and sorrows, we may survive.

    When we speak of specific verses, it would be good for us to check the original language (Hebrew, Greek or Aramaic) for the meanings of words. In 1Cor. 10:13

    Temptation- Strong’s concordance- G3986- peirasmos- trial, adversity, temptation
    Thayer’s dictionary- trial, temptation, adversity, affliction
    (both shortened)

    There are free computer programs that can help with this. The ones I know are:
    Blue Letter Bible
    E-Sword
    The Word
    PS- You don’t have to be a scholar to understand the original languages with helpful programs like these.

  38. Gino
    October 11, 2014 at 3:28 pm

    I’m sorry I don’t mean to be disrespectful, God has allowed me to go through way too much more than what I can handle. My life since the day I was born has been shit!! Yes that’s right I wrote shit!!!! My father was a womanizer, a drunk, an abuser. My father confessed that when he would get paid he would go spend his check on hookers and booze in Tijuana. When I was little he would take me with him to his lovers homes. My mother was raped by her father when she was a teen and became mentally ill, I could write a book about all the evil she did to me including burning my lips off with a hot spatula that she put over a flame for a few minutes. Later I being a male was raped by an older half brother!! My life has and always will be shit!!! I turned to Jesus and became a children’s minister and my wife at the time made fun of me and didn’t support my decision to go to church,

    She’s my ex now and also an atheist, so for all you people that are delusional let me tell you that God is real and that so is Satan and he allows Satan to destroy!!! Remember Job? Well I’ve had enough!!! I sent my church Calvary Chapel in Costa Mesa for help asking for prayer many times and not once have I ever received a reply not once.

    I can’t hold a relationship with anyone because of my anger, my kids will not talk to me I don’t know my grand kids my life for over 50 years is shit!!! Do you people get it!!!! No more church no more Jesus no more pretending!!! Wake up!!!

  39. Gino
    October 11, 2014 at 3:29 pm

    I doubt my comment will even be posted you will only post what you want which is not reality!!!

  40. Christine
    October 14, 2014 at 4:50 pm

    Thank you!

  41. BldrRepublicn
    October 15, 2014 at 7:45 pm

    Just because you selfishly THINK you can’t handle it doesn’t mean you can’t handle it….
    Stop being a wimp, realize you are STILL here…and sack up….

    That’s what it’s all about..

    • G
      October 23, 2014 at 8:05 am

      One, if I was a wimp I would have killed myself by now, second, I’ve been sucking it up for over 52 years. Third and last, it’s not about sucking it up, if that’s what you think then you don’t get it!

      Read Job, then make a comment about sucking it up! It’s about growth in Christ, strength in Christ and faith in Christ not about sucking it up!! I’m just exhausted of nothing but trials and bad stuff and being born into a life of hell!! When does that end!?

      I suppose it will end when I’m dead!

  42. October 28, 2014 at 3:23 am

    Thank you Kayla for this article :) I think I needed it (your insight) that I found myself directed to your blog today.

Leave a reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 2,607 other followers

%d bloggers like this: